How smelly are your farts?

I'll know when I've finally arrived in the fart stakes, when 1 or both my dogs throw up from 1 of mine as I do regularly of theirs.
 
I can and have cleared pubs with my hot toddies … Humdingers doesn’t cover em ..!
I once cleared at bar at a wedding reception 35 odd years ago and the bride never and has never spoken to me since..not that we mix in the same circles......Apparantly she was disgusted at me and to be fair she had every right.
 
Mine are really smelly but to be fair I do shit myself quite a lot.
I've only shit myself once but it was spectacular - Bending down to take the chocks from an aircraft wheel (moderately hung-over and feeling delicate). The act of bending increased the pressure of my large intestine enough to eject liquid magma from my body at the force of a small volcanic eruption.
 
I started on one a day for a fortnight just test the water so to speak then went to two. I can fart the first four bars of the national anthem soon after a meal. Faggots and marrowfat peas lets me do the full version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Like many others I am thinking it but leaving it, I don't want to miss tonight's game by being interviewed by the woke police.
 

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