yesterday i had a wander up to the dirty dick clinic,
because little calum is feeling a bit sore and a bit red at the tip and a bit stingy when i piss.
they saw me, i didn't have to wait too long,
but they weren't actually allowed to look at my dick because i had no appointment.
we talked about my dick for a while,
there were two of them, a man and a woman.
i described my concerns and they made me an appointment for today...
today, sitting in the waiting room, there was only me and a woman.
"do you come here often?" she honestly said that to me.
thankfully she was called in right then.
i sat there for a while,
reading literature about all the things they deal with in there,
wondering if i've got who knows what,
when a side-door from a small room opened and a fella walked in carrying a vial.
as he handed it to the receptionist i noticed it looked awfully like discharge.
he sat near me and explained that he had done something unthinkable.
then i was called in,
by the woman i saw yesterday,
who was now legally allowed to examine my dick alone.
i had to drop my kecks and lay on the bed thingy.
"i need to find out what's going on deep down inside there.
what i want you to do is manipulate yourself,
squeezing from the base upwards,
as if to move any liquid up towards the tip."
it wasn't unlike starting to have a wank from a floppy,
watched on by a fairly decent-looking woman in a nurse's uniform.
"that'll do", she said, producing a long very thin scalpel,
grabbing ahold of little calum, she inserted the full length of the damned thing.
then she turned/twisted it 360degress and i exclaimed "christ on a bike!"
she removed it and placed it in some sort of petri dish.
"you've got thrush".
"how did i get thrush?"
"it was passed on to you".
"what is thrush and how did she get it in the first place?"
"possibly from wiping back to front".
she gave me a tablet to swallow,
suggested i apply the cream after every time i urinate
and told me to try not to get an erection.
how was your day?
