how was your day?

  • Thread starter Thread starter Deleted member 13905
  • Start date Start date
horlock_was_super said:
I wonder if the animal kingdom members get STD’s too. ( not that the op has of course)
A lioness with cystitis would be even scarier I guess.
An African bull elephant with a water infection wouldn’t be pleasant either.
More importantly though can a thrush get thrush?
Bloody hell I am having a boring day.
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All good questions , i want the answers now , ha
 
But if a row with my moody 26 year old son then a few pints in SK. Nice lunch then home. We are mates again now though!
 
kaz7 said:
My pain is bad today but not as bad as having a swab up your dick , having a smear is just as bad and a regular thing for lots of years so stop yer moaning , lol
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yeah, but you girls know that having smears is part of being a girl.
when i found out i was a boy nobody told me that i'd have to endure that shit.

it wasn't a swab, it was a razorsharp ultra thin scalpel.
she told me it might smart for a few days.
her prediction is well on-track, haha.
 
Done very little. Posted a Forward Madison jersey to someone in Glasgow through eBay, watched St Mirren v Rangers and the last minutes of Ipswich v Maidstone, ate and now about to sit down for Fulham v Newcastle. I might have a pint later.
 
calum down said:
yesterday i had a wander up to the dirty dick clinic,
because little calum is feeling a bit sore and a bit red at the tip and a bit stingy when i piss.

they saw me, i didn't have to wait too long,
but they weren't actually allowed to look at my dick because i had no appointment.
we talked about my dick for a while,
there were two of them, a man and a woman.
i described my concerns and they made me an appointment for today...

today, sitting in the waiting room, there was only me and a woman.
"do you come here often?" she honestly said that to me.
thankfully she was called in right then.

i sat there for a while,
reading literature about all the things they deal with in there,
wondering if i've got who knows what,
when a side-door from a small room opened and a fella walked in carrying a vial.
as he handed it to the receptionist i noticed it looked awfully like discharge.
he sat near me and explained that he had done something unthinkable.

then i was called in,
by the woman i saw yesterday,
who was now legally allowed to examine my dick alone.

i had to drop my kecks and lay on the bed thingy.

"i need to find out what's going on deep down inside there.
what i want you to do is manipulate yourself,
squeezing from the base upwards,
as if to move any liquid up towards the tip."

it wasn't unlike starting to have a wank from a floppy,
watched on by a fairly decent-looking woman in a nurse's uniform.

"that'll do", she said, producing a long very thin scalpel,
grabbing ahold of little calum, she inserted the full length of the damned thing.
then she turned/twisted it 360degress and i exclaimed "christ on a bike!"

she removed it and placed it in some sort of petri dish.
"you've got thrush".
"how did i get thrush?"
"it was passed on to you".
"what is thrush and how did she get it in the first place?"
"possibly from wiping back to front".

she gave me a tablet to swallow,
suggested i apply the cream after every time i urinate
and told me to try not to get an erection.


how was your day?
Click to expand...
Have you written other poetry?
 
horlock_was_super said:
I wonder if the animal kingdom members get STD’s too. ( not that the op has of course)
A lioness with cystitis would be even scarier I guess.
An African bull elephant with a water infection wouldn’t be pleasant either.
More importantly though can a thrush get thrush?
Bloody hell I am having a boring day.
Click to expand...
I dont know but I had a lovely pair of Tits on my fat balls this morning.
 
I'm now back from my Noodley thing. It was nice sobit added to my already good day.
I've looked at Big Mist and there's no stuff oozing out of it so it's even better.
 
Up early and went for a walk 5 ish with the missus , young lady in tears at bus stop and ended up back at ours till a friend picked her up.
Couple of hours work
Deep tissue massage , ouch !
Cleared out loft and bedroom
Darts
Nodded off watching shit film
Back on the darts
I’ve had better Saturdays
 
we've exchanged a few messages this evening.
she is adam ant that she has never wiped herself from back to front.
she thinks her wife might have passed it on to her.
it's early days but there are signs the sudocrem might be helping little cal.
 
calum down said:
thanks, it's not too bad really...
but looking at the small print,
it seems the cream she gave me has steroids in it.
no way am i rubbing that shit onto little calum.
i'll buy a large tub of sudocrem tomorrow and slather it for a week or two.
Click to expand...
You've got small print on your todger?
Is it the instructions for use?
 
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