D
D
Nothing too exciting , as I said I was with the missus.
20 year old lost her friends in Bolton and was skint at end of the night.
Tried to find her ex boyfriends in farnworth , got lost and sat in bus stop crying
SkyBlueFlux
Well-Known Member
When I first saw the OP I thought it was written in iambic pentameter, expecting something akin to Homeric epic.
Then I read on to find it's about knob rot. Bluemoon can be surprisingly post-modern at times.
My day was good though...
Then I read on to find it's about knob rot. Bluemoon can be surprisingly post-modern at times.
My day was good though...
idahoblues
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- 27 Mar 2009
- Messages
- 21,594
The day is still young, skied for an hour or two, worked for an hour or two and now feeling thirsty
D
D
Deleted member 13905
Guest
they are pretty much the same thing, aren't they.
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Deleted member 13905
Guest
not strictly cumbian style music but very close...
SkyBlueFlux
Well-Known Member
Yes, stick it through a few different translators and you're basically correct.
Bill Walker
Well-Known Member
Haha you beat me to it. Our resident poet lauriat calum down and his latest work..
"We talked about my dick for a while"
Outstanding once again :)
kaz7
Well-Known Member
The metal speculum would have every man on here crying lol
kaz7
Well-Known Member
Tomorrow i get mri results , some answers i hope
D
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Deleted member 13905
Guest
top thrush tips
shopping list...
sudocrem is definitely doing the business,
but it's a bugger to wash off your fingers after application,
hence the disposable gloves.
after your first piss in the morning don the gloves.
manipulate yourself slightly until you achieve some semblance.
gently wipe off yesterday's sudocrem with the cotton pads,
look for signs of improvement and smile.
(whatever you do, don't use tissues, they are like sandpaper).
insert one end of a cotton bud into the urethra to absorb any moisture.
then dip the other end into the sudocrem and again insert,
making sure to get plenty down into the shaft.
next, lather vast amounts of sudocrem all over the glans & pulled back skin.
restore the little fella to its normal state and bin the gloves.
job's reet.
after every piss during the day,
repeat the cotton bud part of the above,
gloves optional.
the nurse said to avoid an erection,
so if you wake up with one in the night nip to the bathroom
and use the opportunity to liberally apply extra sudocrem, wearing gloves.
the cyder vinegar should be diluted 1part with 9parts water,
3 times a day.
when you piss it out it cleanses the urethra.
bookmark this page, lads.
you might be glad of the advice one day.
you're welcome.
Bill Walker
Well-Known Member
Hope it's all good kaz x
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Deleted member 13905
Guest
she sent me a message last night,
suggesting we meet today.
i asked her what for,
to have a game of cards?
my dick, thanks to you, is slathered in sudocrem.
it looks like a whole salted cod.
what use is it to you?
and anyway, i'm supposed to avoid erections.
i'm having to throw away my underpants,
because they stink like a hospital ward.
i'm embarrassed to stand in queues of any sort,
because of the sudocrem odour emanating from my groin.
it's a good job i didn't perform fellatio on you.
my research tells me i'd've got oral thrush,
which, seemingly,
is a lot more difficult to get shut of.
she said she has been thinking about a future together.
she really likes me and is planning a divorce.
i said i'd read that once a woman gets thrush below her bush
she is susceptible to reoccurrences
and although little cal will make a full recovery
i have no desire to replicate this episode.
people on the internet are laughing at me.
i would rather you don't contact me again.
i wonder if i was a little harsh on her.
she really is very nice and all that,
but for the first time in my life
i've been compromised downstairs.
suggesting we meet today.
i asked her what for,
to have a game of cards?
my dick, thanks to you, is slathered in sudocrem.
it looks like a whole salted cod.
what use is it to you?
and anyway, i'm supposed to avoid erections.
i'm having to throw away my underpants,
because they stink like a hospital ward.
i'm embarrassed to stand in queues of any sort,
because of the sudocrem odour emanating from my groin.
it's a good job i didn't perform fellatio on you.
my research tells me i'd've got oral thrush,
which, seemingly,
is a lot more difficult to get shut of.
she said she has been thinking about a future together.
she really likes me and is planning a divorce.
i said i'd read that once a woman gets thrush below her bush
she is susceptible to reoccurrences
and although little cal will make a full recovery
i have no desire to replicate this episode.
people on the internet are laughing at me.
i would rather you don't contact me again.
i wonder if i was a little harsh on her.
she really is very nice and all that,
but for the first time in my life
i've been compromised downstairs.
Kinkybyname
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- 17 Jul 2022
- Messages
- 4,225
- Team supported
- Manchester City
nut thrush City limits
What's the tune to that ?
BimboBob
Well-Known Member
You'll Never Walk Alone
Tuearts right boot
Well-Known Member
Let's not forget the housewives favourite...top thrush tips
shopping list...
sudocrem is definitely doing the business,
but it's a bugger to wash off your fingers after application,
hence the disposable gloves.
after your first piss in the morning don the gloves.
manipulate yourself slightly until you achieve some semblance.
gently wipe off yesterday's sudocrem with the cotton pads,
look for signs of improvement and smile.
(whatever you do, don't use tissues, they are like sandpaper).
insert one end of a cotton bud into the urethra to absorb any moisture.
then dip the other end into the sudocrem and again insert,
making sure to get plenty down into the shaft.
next, lather vast amounts of sudocrem all over the glans & pulled back skin.
restore the little fella to its normal state and bin the gloves.
job's reet.
after every piss during the day,
repeat the cotton bud part of the above,
gloves optional.
the nurse said to avoid an erection,
so if you wake up with one in the night nip to the bathroom
and use the opportunity to liberally apply extra sudocrem, wearing gloves.
the cyder vinegar should be diluted 1part with 9parts water,
3 times a day.
when you piss it out it cleanses the urethra.
bookmark this page, lads.
you might be glad of the advice one day.
you're welcome.
kaz7
Well-Known Member
it was good news but bad news as it is a further spreading of my chronic/ acute pain , nothing can be done for that unfortunately , being referred to the pain clinic in london
Bit grumpy
BlueMoonRisin’
Well-Known Member
Give her a Dirty Sanchez. You might still have "dirty dick" but she'll have a 'tache like Dickie Davies ; )