I need some girl advice

[SambaBoys]

. There are few things less appealing to women than a man trying to hold on too tight. If she decides she wants back in after all - she'll let you know.

That's why sappy men think that girls like bastards. They don't. They just don't like men who come across as desperate and are clingy. I'm not saying that's you, ono, but in general the most attractive thing to women is confidence and independance.

Let me tell you a little story about when I had a similar situation many years ago.

I met a girl at a wedding who was stunning. Really stunning, a head turner.

We got off with each other, saw each other again but she was moving abroad to teach for a year. She went and we stayed in touch and when she came home for a week we saw each other a time or two. Then she extended to another year abroad. And she got a boyfriend. And moved in with him. But when she came back to England she would go out and sleep with me.

I was besotted with her and let her do this. I cringe when I type this but I believed when she finally came home she'd be mine. I didnt go celibate - far from it, but in my heart I believed I'd get her back.

She held all the cards, just like your girl, and played me like a fool.

She came back from Japan, we arranged a date, I bought her flowers...and she came on the date and dumped me for the other guy. Then carried on the date like nothing had happened. We got out of our nuts on E and it was a seriously bad night.

I learnt a hard lesson. She was the kind of girl to sleep behind her boyfriend's back and she was quite happy to have me there to shag and take her out when she got back home. She even gave me a fucking STD.

I got the last laugh.

12 months later I went to another wedding and she was there. I was tanned and fit and on top of my game. We kept our distance a bit but I was attracting a fair bit of female attention that night, inclduing one nice girl from London.

Late on the girl came talking to me and then started propositioning me and saying she'd made a mistake and all that. I was nice and polite and kept saying "No Jane. We had our chance". She started saying "No man's ever said no to me". She couldn't believe it.

I ended up getting off with the London girl, she ended up crying in the corner and I've never seen her again.

I'm not telling you this story to brag, I'm just telling you that your situation happens to everyone. And there is a moral, somewhere, to the story: Don't be a sap. Have self-confidence. Don't accept second best out of fear.

The ones that you should be with are never the ones who ever treat you like your 2nd best!!!!! x

 

[ALL OUR LIVES]

my dear friend. Nothing muddies the soul quite like affairs of the heart.

You asked for advice. In my experience you know already but are just unsure

1) She kept the date with your mate secret. She has designs on him. Beit for his attentiveness, beit for the use of his passenger seat. Either way it is disrespectful at the very least.

2) He mentioned it to you with the line - didn't she tell you. He is not shagging her yet ! He needed to find out if knowledge of their arrangement would be shared by her with you. It wasn't. It will reinforce his opinion that she is acting as a single female rather than the troubled ex of a mate. That will give him a green light that future actions will happen without your knowledge if he plots this formally with her.

3) It is my opinion that they will eventually betray you should you not act.

4) Tackle your mate first. Remove any doubt from his mind that this is unacceptable and that she is still very much on your radar.

5) Be prepared to loose them both.

6) Be prepared to move on.

7) Take driving lessons. Even if the option of getting a car is not there for you yet.

8) You sound like you are young. Your lack of experience in these matters points to you having many years ahead.

9) Know that in those years ahead you will have many more "affairs of the heart". That means more textbook intercourse for you my.

10) Force a smile about this whole sorry episode now because I guarantee you you won't need to force that smile in the future. You will genuinely look back and see yourself in a different light and laugh. ( This point is hard to get right now but it will happen )

11) Keep the faith - There will be few constants in your life. City is one of them.


Good luck !

Great advice.

Oh and smash her back doors in before you call it quits.

Edit - You should probably smash his back doors in as well.

Any update yet ONO ?

Genuinely interested to know how this one pans out for you ( Although as you can probably guess by the considered responces you have received , most on here only see one conclusion. Although the " smash her doors in first " reply has perhaps taken the lions share of opinion there is some ironic sence to the advice. A v.good salesman once told me that in his younger days he had learnt to take something from every knockback he received. This included the likes of emptying his car ash tray in the carpark before leaving the premises of a failed pitch. The idea being that the "last laugh" will help you emotionally rebuild quicker for the next pitch. Now I know you don't have an car yet but purely in a metaphorical sence it may be time to empty your ashtray ! )

 

[JoeMercer'sWay]

if you look up "sappy" in the bluemoon dictionary it comes up with me.

I aint willing to share either.