Joke of the day

[Grassland Blue]

Q

 

[Grassland Blue]

An elderly man goes to the doctors.
Doctor asks him what is wrong.
"Well", says the man "these days I can't get an erection".
The doctor says, "No problem, I will prescribe some viagra for you, they will solve your problem".
As the doctor is writing the prescription he says, "Now Mr. Brown, these tablets are very strong, so you need to be careful with them".
"What you need to do is take a tablet and cut it in half. Take one half of the tablet, skip a day, then take the other half, skip a day, take another half tablet and so on until they are used up. Then come back and see me in a month to see if you need to increase the dose".
"Ok", says the man.

A couple of weeks later the doctor spots Mrs. Brown in the supermarket. He taps her on the shoulder and says, "Hello Mrs. Brown, I was wondering how your husband was getting on with his medicine"?
"Oh, she says, "he's died".
The horrified doctor says, "That's terrible news, I only put him on a low dose, how did it happen"?
"Oh it wasn't the tablets which killed him", she says.
"It was all the skipping in between..."

 

[Lavinda Past]

Q

 

[blue b4 the moon]

Like the skyscraper thread I'm drawn to these joke threads and always well nearly always with the jokes leave disappointed.

@mods can someone at least merge both joke threads together so my disappointment reduces by a third?

 

[searsleftpeg]

Ah yes.
A half shillings worth please, Mr.Beirne. (Our local grumpy corner shopkeeper)
Football on the street.
Jumpers for goalposts.
3 and in.

Half shilling worth !!!. Luxury ,in my day it was the penny tray to stare at for 15 minutes before making the big decision, and that was old proper pennies, not this decimal nonsense they've brought nowadays . If you tell the kids of today.

 

[Lavinda Past]

Like the skyscraper thread I'm drawn to these joke threads and always well nearly always with the jokes leave disappointed.

@mods can someone at least merge both joke threads together so my disappointment reduces by a third?

Good idea. I thought the same...

 

[Lavinda Past]

Half shilling worth !!!. Luxury ,in my day it was the penny tray to stare at for 15 minutes before making the big decision, and that was old proper pennies, not this decimal nonsense they've brought nowadays . If you tell the kids of today.

Proper pennies... with a young Queen Victoria's head on them. Twice the size of one of these new fangled 50p pieces. Real money.

 

[horlock_was_super]

A native American chief had three wives, each of whom was pregnant....

The first gave birth to a boy. The chief was so elated that he built her a teepee made of deer hide.

A few days later, the second gave birth, also to a boy. The chief was very happy. He built her a teepee made of antelope hide.

The third wife gave birth a few days later, but the chief kept the details a secret. He built this one a two story teepee, made out of a hippopotamus hide.

The chief then challenged the tribe to guess what had occurred.

Many tried, unsuccessfully. Finally, one young brave declared that the third wife had given birth to twin boys.

"Correct," said the chief. "How did you figure it out?"

The warrior answered, "It's elementary. The value of the squaw of the hippopotamus is equal to the sons of the squaws of the other two hides."

I’m shit maths so don’t know if the sum is correct.
So my problem here is - where the fuck did he get a hippopotamus from in North America?

 

[Lavinda Past]

I’m shit maths so don’t know if the sum is correct.
So my problem here is - where the fuck did he get a hippopotamus from in North America?

As posted earlier in the thread

The hippos were a gift to the native North Americans from Pablo Escobar as a sweetener for a prospective cocaine deal.

Everybody knows that...

I know we're working on two threads here but please try to keep up...

;-)

 

[kippaxneil]

Old Chinese Proverb: Girl who do back spring on bedspring have offspring next spring.