Mills-Mcfc
Well-Known Member
lol
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Joke of the Week!
- Thread starter Biggsy1
- Start date
blue_chili_pepper
Well-Known Member
yankblue said:Two muffins are in an oven. One turns to the other and says,
"Gee, sure is hot in here"
The other one says,
"Woah! A talking muffin!"
two BARM CAKES are in an oven. One turns to the other and says,
" gee, aren't muffins the gayest thing in the world "
the other one says,
" yes they are "
* gets coat but still knows barms are the best*
Little girl crying at the back of a classroom,
'what's up?' asked the teacher
the little girl said nothing and carried on crying
the teacher goes up to her and says 'stand up'
the girl stood up and the teacher could see wee all over the plastic seat
'you poor thing' she said 'if you wanted the toilet, why didn't you put your hand up?'
'I did miss but it seeped through my fingers!' the girl replied
'what's up?' asked the teacher
the little girl said nothing and carried on crying
the teacher goes up to her and says 'stand up'
the girl stood up and the teacher could see wee all over the plastic seat
'you poor thing' she said 'if you wanted the toilet, why didn't you put your hand up?'
'I did miss but it seeped through my fingers!' the girl replied
jimharri
Moderator
A 6 year old and a 4 year old are upstairs in their bedroom. 'You know what?' says the 6 year old. 'I think it's about time we started swearing.' The 4 year old nods his head in approval. The 6 year old continues, 'When we go downstairs for breakfast, I'm gonna say something with hell and you say something with ass.' The 4 year old agrees with enthusiasm.
When the mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 6 year old what he wants for breakfast, he replies, 'Aw, hell, Mum, I guess I'll have some Cheerios.'
WHACK! He flies out of his chair, tumbles across the kitchen floor, gets up, and runs upstairs crying his eyes out, with his mother in hot pursuit, slapping his rear with every step. His mom locks him in his room and shouts, 'You can stay there until I let you out!'
She then comes back downstairs, looks at the 4 year old and asks with a stern voice 'And what do YOU want for breakfast, young man?' 'I don't know', he blubbers, 'but you can bet your fat ass it won't be Cheerios!!'
When the mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 6 year old what he wants for breakfast, he replies, 'Aw, hell, Mum, I guess I'll have some Cheerios.'
WHACK! He flies out of his chair, tumbles across the kitchen floor, gets up, and runs upstairs crying his eyes out, with his mother in hot pursuit, slapping his rear with every step. His mom locks him in his room and shouts, 'You can stay there until I let you out!'
She then comes back downstairs, looks at the 4 year old and asks with a stern voice 'And what do YOU want for breakfast, young man?' 'I don't know', he blubbers, 'but you can bet your fat ass it won't be Cheerios!!'
jimharri
Moderator
A 16 yr old lad went to the chemist's to buy condoms for the first time. There was a beautiful female assistant behind the counter and she could see that he was new to this. She handed him the box and asked if he knew how to wear one.
He replied, "Well, not exactly; this is my first time." So she opened the box, took one out and slipped it over her thumb. She told him to always make sure it was on tight and secure. He nodded yes but still looked confused. So she looked all around the store to see if it was empty. It was.
"Just a minute," she said, as she walked to the door and locked it. Taking his hand, she led him into the back room, unbuttoned her blouse and removed it. She unhooked her bra and laid it aside. "Do these excite you?", she asked. He was so dumb-struck that all he could do was nod his head rapidly and smile. She then said it was time to slip the condom on.
As he slipped it on nice and secure, she dropped her skirt, removed her panties and lay back on the desk. "Well, come on", she said, "We don't have much time."
So he climbed up on the desk and did the business. It felt so wonderful that unfortunately he couldn't hold back and KAPOW!!, he was done within just a minute, if even that long.
She looked at him with a bit of a frown. "Did you put that condom on?" she
asked.
The lad replied, "I sure did" and held up his thumb to show her.
He replied, "Well, not exactly; this is my first time." So she opened the box, took one out and slipped it over her thumb. She told him to always make sure it was on tight and secure. He nodded yes but still looked confused. So she looked all around the store to see if it was empty. It was.
"Just a minute," she said, as she walked to the door and locked it. Taking his hand, she led him into the back room, unbuttoned her blouse and removed it. She unhooked her bra and laid it aside. "Do these excite you?", she asked. He was so dumb-struck that all he could do was nod his head rapidly and smile. She then said it was time to slip the condom on.
As he slipped it on nice and secure, she dropped her skirt, removed her panties and lay back on the desk. "Well, come on", she said, "We don't have much time."
So he climbed up on the desk and did the business. It felt so wonderful that unfortunately he couldn't hold back and KAPOW!!, he was done within just a minute, if even that long.
She looked at him with a bit of a frown. "Did you put that condom on?" she
asked.
The lad replied, "I sure did" and held up his thumb to show her.
don;t know whats brown and sticky/bluetoby said:whats brown and sticky ?