Joke thread

Every day, a retired doctor goes to his usual club and orders and almond dacquiri from the barman at the club, Dick. It's like his special treat if you will and he loves almonds.

One day, Dick's run out of almonds and, knowing the doc's going to be turning up later, has to make do with something else. He finds some hickory nuts and decides these'll make a good alternative.

Later that afternoon, in walks the retired doctor and orders his usual drink. Dick duly prepares the dacquiri which the elderly gentleman gratefully accepts.

After his first sip, he notices something different.

"That's not an almond dacquiri Dick"

"No, it a hickory dacquiri Doc"!
 
Coatigan said:
The funny thing is, it is coming back round. After finally developing tv so we can pause live shows and skip adverts, streaming services are now going down the route of enforced adverts you can't skip or pause.
Click to expand...
The Bastards.
I have reminded myself of a true tale told by a comic, forget which one.
Comic at his local station: “I was looking for one of those pocket timetables you used to put on the counter.”
Ticket Clerk: “Yes, we had to take them off the counter, because people kept taking them.”
Comic: “The bastards”
 
Last edited:
KS55 said:
The Bastards.
I have reminded myself of a true tale told by a comic, forget which one.
Comic at his local station: “I was looking for one of those pocket timetables you used to put on the counter.”
Ticket Clerk: “Yes, we had to take them off the counter, because people kept taking them.”
Comic: “The bastards”
Click to expand...
Possibly Tommy Trinder :-)
 
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