Joke thread

Bloke goes into a pet shop
"Can I have ten bees please?"
Shopkeeper says "of course that will be £10" bloke walks out and comes back 5 minutes later.
"Excuse me but you've put 11 bees in only paid for ten"
Shopkeeper says "yeah that's a free bee"

Bloke goes into a pet shop
”can I have a wasp please?”
Shopkeeper says “sorry, we don’t sell wasps”
Bloke says “but you’ve got one in the window!”

(C) Mike Reid, 1979
 
Sister Bridgette, badly needing to use the restroom, walked into a pub in Tralee. The place was quite lively with music and loud conversation and every once in a while the lights would turn off. Each time the lights would go out, the place would erupt into cheers. However, when the revelers saw the nun, the room went dead silent. She walked up to the bartender, and asked, 'May I please use the restroom?"
The bartender replied, “Of course Sister, but I should warn you that there is a statue of a naked man in there wearing only a fig leaf."
”Well, in that case, I'll just look the other way,” said the good Sister.
So the bartender showed the nun to the back of the pub. After a few minutes, she came back out, and the whole place stopped just long enough to give the nun a loud round of applause.
She went to the bartender and said, “Sir, I don't understand. Why did they applaud for me just because I went to the restroom?”
''Well, now they know you're one of us,” said the bartender, “Would you like a drink?”
''No thank you, but, I still don't understand,” said the puzzled nun.
“You see,” laughed the bartender, “every time someone lifts the fig leaf on that statue, the lights go out. Now, how about that drink?”
 

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