Joke thread

[kippaxneil]

FOR SALE:
George Foreman Grill
Muhammed Ali DVD's

Both boxed.

 

[Lavinda Past]

FOR SALE:
George Foreman Grill
Muhammed Ali DVD's

Both boxed.

 

[Lavinda Past]

 

[Lavinda Past]

My granny used to say thatthe best way to a man's heart was through his stomach.

Lovely woman, terrible surgeon.

 

[Lavinda Past]

 

[lefty goldblatt]

View attachment 128195

I saw the first line, and I immediately thought of this

 

[jimharri]

View attachment 128195

The original is better.....

 

[Bigg Bigg Blue]

 

[Lavinda Past]

 

[RadcliffeRick]

View attachment 128287

Was he a fun guy?

 

[Lavinda Past]

 

[Lavinda Past]

 

[Lavinda Past]

Why is Camouflage spelled like that?

And not

.... ?

 

[Lavinda Past]

A man has a serious car crash and wakes up in hospital. The doctor tells him during the crash he had his dick completely severed off but luckily the hospital he's in is the world's foremost at dick transplants.

The Dr tells him he can have a small one for £3000, a medium one for £6000 or a massive one for £12,000.

The man replies that he needs to talk to his wife since it'll affect her too.

The next day the Dr comes by asking if he and his wife had come to a decision. To which the man says "yes we have. We've decided to get a new kitchen"

 

[Lavinda Past]

I watched a little old lady in a supermarket spend 10 minutes wondering how to get the pasta down from the top shelf...

Then suddenly, the penne dropped...

 

[kippaxneil]

My mate told me that he was pulling off his boxers before going to bed the other night, when his wife said, 'you really do spoil those dogs'.

 

[Lavinda Past]

 

[Lavinda Past]

 

[Lavinda Past]

 

[Blue Llama]

3 times i've read that, 3 times and I'm still non the wiser. Have you ever thought of taking up golf. Or fishing.

I think we need to start rating these 'jokes'. That ones a 3 (out of 10 )