Joke thread

[blue b4 the moon]

View attachment 60386

You should have posted the next post to this post too.

 

[Gorton_Tubster]

Oh this is going to be the funniest thing in this thread...... Maybe its only me who has never seen it before though...

Ice bucket challenge, awwwwww!

 

[Alan Harper's Tash]

 

[Alan Harper's Tash]

 

[SCEtoAUX]

Just ate some fabric conditioner. Utterly fucking disgusting. So much for Comfort food.

 

[Grassland Blue]

Paddy was marooned on a desert island.
During his exploration of the island he finds an old lamp.
"That'll do nicely in my cave", he thought.
He gets back to his cave and starts to clean it up.
Suddenly there's a blinding flash of light and a cloud of smoke. When the smoke clears, standing in front of him is a 15ft tall genie.
"I have been imprisoned in that lamp for 2 thousand years" said the genie and you have set me free. As a reward I will grant you 3 wishes, anything you desire, you can have".
"Oh", says Paddy, "Now let me think..."
After a few minutes Paddy says, "I know what I want, I would like a bottle of Guiness, but no matter how much I drink out of it, it fills up again".
"Your wish is my command!" says the Genie, and the never emptying bottle of Guiness appears.
After Paddy has drank enough from the bottle, the Genie says, "Master I am happy that you are pleased with your first wish. You still have two wishes left. What else would you like?"
Without a moments' hesitation Paddy says," I would like 2 more please...."

 

[metalblue]

 

[cinnamon]

Putin walks into a school in Moscow.

He asks a student "Who is your father?
The student replies "The Supreme Leader, infinite in wisdom and kindness, provider and protector of the Russians, he is our only father."

President Putin: "Excellent. Now tell me who is your mother?"
The student doesn't hesitate. "The Russian Motherland outstanding in her beauty, international superpower, and redeemer of all civilisations. She is our only mother."

Putin applauds and cheers. "What a diligent student you are. What do you want to be when you're older?"

The student replies: "An orphan".

 

[blue44]

 

[blue44]