Joke thread

[Vienna_70]

I can't tell you how often I've been asked to keep a secret…

I can keep a secret.

It’s the people I tell that let me down.

 

[Zuriblue]

Arne Slot walks into a travel agents in Liverpool.

Good morning, can you recommend a city break in the West Country?

Well, replies the agent, you can’t beat Plymouth this time of year.

 

[bladdered]

 

[kippaxneil]

WARNING!!!!
Do not join the new Tesco dating App. My mate did & ended up with a bag for life.

 

[mosssideblue]

 

[mosssideblue]

 

[KS55]

Fact. Bobby Charlton was booked once for calling “Mine” as a cross came into the box. The FA cancelled the booking, to preserve Charlton’s clean record.

 

[Really_here]

Fact. Bobby Charlton was booked once for calling “Mine” as a cross came into the box. The FA cancelled the booking, to preserve Charlton’s clean record.

In a playing career that began a few days before his 19th birthday against Charlton Athletic in 1956 and ended in the mid-1970s, Charlton was never sent off and picked up only two bookings. One was in the infamous World Cup quarter-final against Argentina in 1966, the other in a league match against Chelsea.

 

[horlock_was_super]

Fact. Bobby Charlton was booked once for calling “Mine” as a cross came into the box. The FA cancelled the booking, to preserve Charlton’s clean record.

Perhaps he had heard there were a few tickets going spare and was offering to help, ahem, re-distribute them.

 

[Hertzblue]

Probably last chance to get one Gino’s Valentine cards

 

[bladdered]

 

[bladdered]

 

[bluemoon32]

 

[MCFCTrick]

 

[ray21]

.

 

[Silva Citizen]

Looking for a bit of advice.
What's the best number of Roses to give the wife for Valentine's Day 6, 12, 18 or the whole tin?

 

[Bill Walker]

 

[Bill Walker]

 

[Bill Walker]

 

[mosssideblue]