Joke thread

[Vienna_70]

Jethro was on at our local Sportsmans Evening a few years back and his opening line was :
"I took my missus out last night ... it only took one fucking punch"
The place erupted and the rest of the evening was a very funny evening with him.

Every time I saw Jethro live, I ended the evening with both my jaws and ribs aching, because I’d laughed so much.

 

[bluethrunthru]

100% correct 35% of the time lol

 

[Sam101]

 

[Bigg Bigg Blue]

 

[Bill Walker]

 

[Bill Walker]

 

[Bill Walker]

Yesterday I saw an ad that said "Radio for sale, $1.00, Volume stuck on full".
I thought, "I can't turn that down".

 

[ColinBellsjockstrap]

Fella with no arms and no legs swimming the channel.


Caught cramp in his ears.

 

[ColinBellsjockstrap]

What did the gestapo officer say to the broken down grandfather clock?


"Vee haf vays of making you tok"

 

[JRockBlues]

There once was an elephant that tried to trace his ancestry. It was a mammoth task.

 

[noseve]

Having a clear-out - anybody want to buy this book of Chinese Recipes by Barbara Woodhouse?

It's called '100 ways to wok your dog'...

 

[Blue Mist]

There once was an elephant that tried to trace his ancestry. It was a mammoth tusk.

A slight amendment?

 

[bonespost]

 

[Hertzblue]

 

[Uncle Wally One Ball]

View attachment 160591

He is a real person, I was in University with him. Hilarious fella

 

[Bigg Bigg Blue]

 

[bonespost]

 

[Blue Mist]

View attachment 160601

They're twins.


All 4 of them

 

[bluethrunthru]

ha ha ha

 

[ancoats]