Joke thread

[ancoats]

View attachment 167845

would love a picture of him playing a PS5 with a controller in his hands

 

[kippaxneil]

I'm really worried about my Parrot, he keeps saying, "I can't go on, I hate my life".
Our lodger is too selfish to notice, he's always crying.

 

[bumbleblue]

 

[Bill Walker]

Ruben Amorin

Tut tut
Ruben, along with Tent Peg is a bonafide hero on here...

 

[Bill Walker]

 

[RadcliffeRick]

At least flip the picture so the arrows are for driving on the right.

 

[East Level 2]

View attachment 167922

Thank you. I can laugh at the joke now.

 

[RadcliffeRick]

Thank you. I can laugh at the joke now.

Pedant alert!!! :-)

 

[kippaxneil]

My mate was told by his doctor to do something that gets him out of the pub. So he's taken up smoking.

 

[BackofJeanette]

 

[balotellishaircut]

I hate all this terrorism business.
Gone are the days when you could look at an unattended bag on a bus or train and think…. When no one’s looking, I’m having that.

 

[balotellishaircut]

A boy and his father are watching Game of Thrones together when a sex scene comes on.

“Well son, time for bed” the father says.

“But dad, I’m 16” the son argues.

“I don’t care how old you are, you’re not watching me masturbate”

 

[bladdered]

 

[bladdered]

 

[Vienna_70]

I think the Dooleys should have released a single called, "Caught".

 

[bluethrunthru]

 

[bonespost]

 

[KS55]

I asked Mrs KS what she would do if I won the lottery. She said she would take half and leave me. So I replied:
“I won £4 yesterday. Here’s £2, keep in touch.”

 

[balotellishaircut]

Jonathan Ross has been arrested for shoplifting a kitchen utensil.

He said it was a whisk he was prepared to take.

 

[bladdered]

I Don't Want to Talk About It