Joke thread

[noseve]

Not everyone.
But good luck with the budget Rachel, just think things through a bit more.

?

 

[Sam101]

Julius Caesar and Pompey the Great were rivals for the position of First Consul of Rome.



They spoke before the Senate, putting forward their cases for election to the post, by recounting their deeds in the service of Rome.



"When the Gauls attacked Rome, I defended the city," Pompey said, "and drove them out killing 100,000 Gauls."



"I invaded Gaul," Caesar said, "and I too slew 100,000 Gauls."



So the Senate gave the position to Caesar because in Europe away Gauls count double.

 

[Sam101]

 

[Penfold the Duke]

There is only one thing worse than biting into an apple and finding a maggot inside. That is biting into an apple and finding half a maggot inside.

Wizzer and chips, circa 1973 if I recall!

 

[bluethrunthru]

 

[Sam101]

I confused my Scottish GP today


By telling him i had knee problems

 

[Uwe Already]

I confused my Scottish GP today


By telling him i had knee problems

I confused my scottish vet by saying my horse had neigh problems... (needs work maybe)

 

[DrBlueBob]

I confused my Scottish GP today


By telling him i had knee problems

Is that a croissant or a meringue?

No you're right, it's a croissant.

 

[mrcunny]

 

[Vienna_70]

And the great Geoffrey Palmer.

 

[bluethrunthru]

And the great Geoffrey Palmer.

hello Reggie - bit of a cock up on the catering front. Would you by any chance have some carrots?

 

[dronefromsector7G]

NASA is launching a satellite to say sorry to the aliens.

They're calling it the Apollo G.

 

[Vienna_70]

hello Reggie - bit of a cock up on the catering front. Would you by any chance have some carrots?

Jimmy was one of my favourite characters in The Fall And Rise…

 

[bridgeno1]

 

[Bigg Bigg Blue]