Joke thread

[Barcon]

Footprints in the butter, bikes outside.

 

[sir baconface]

What do you call a deer with no eyes that doesn't move, even though a man has his cock up its arse ...?

A Canadian sexual fantasy?

 

[RadcliffeRick]

A Canadian sexual fantasy?

They prefer to call it a leisure centre.

 

[Big Swifty]

A nun is standing on a street corner in Moscow. A Russian soldier goes up to her and says "Sister, may I hide under your skirts? I'll explain later."
The nun grudgingly agrees, and eventually the Russian soldier emerges and says "Thanks a lot, sister, but they are after me to send me to fight in Ukraine. By the way, you have great legs".

The nun says "If you'd looked a bit higher, you'd have seen great balls as well. I don't want to be sent to Ukraine either".

 

[bluebc]

 

[Sam Armstrong]

A group of primary school infants, accompanied by two female teachers, went on a field trip to Cheltenham races to see and learn about thoroughbred horses.

When it was time to take the children to the toilet, it was decided that the girls would go with one teacher and the boys would go with the other.

The teacher assigned to the boys was waiting outside the men's toilet when one of the boys came out and told her that none of them could reach the urinal.

Having no choice, she went inside, helped the boys with their underpants, and began hoisting the children up, one by one, holding their willies to direct the flow away from their clothes.

As she lifted one, she couldn't help but notice that he was unusually well endowed. Trying not to show that she was staring, the teacher said, 'You must be in Year Four.'

"No, love,” he replied. "I'm riding Silver Arrow in the 2.15"

 

[bluetonium]

Not really a joke but my work are celebrating international women's day next week by organising a team bike ride.

I'm now on a 6 week diversity and inclusion course despite volunteering to do 100 miles on Tina from accounts.

 

[horlock_was_super]

 

[Aguerooooooo93:20]

 

[blue44]