Joke thread

[noseve]

Remember Manning telling that in The Embassy club 50 odd years ago.

He had one about an Irish family watching TV together. 2 very young kids on the floor, mum's knees having fallen wide apart:

"psst"
...
"psst"
...
"psst"

"Jeez, what now? I'm trying to watch this"

"Close your legs - the K-I-D-S can see yer c*nt!

 

[roypaulknewmyfather]

 

[BlueMoonAcrossThePond]

Here's the biggest joke I can think of.

Ready?

Here it is:

Spoiler

Donald Trump

 

[lefty goldblatt]

 

[lefty goldblatt]

.....and I ran, I ran so far away

 

[Kush45]

 

[FogBlueInSanFran]

Robert Sanchez, Chelsea goalkeeper, with the ball at his feet.

This is the right thread for him, yes?

 

[Bigg Bigg Blue]

 

[Bigg Bigg Blue]

 

[Bigg Bigg Blue]

 

[Sam101]

I was chatting to this woman online earlier, she said:

"So tell me, what do they call you?"

"Tripod" 'I replied.

"Oooh, why do they call you that, got a big cock have you?" She asked.

"No" I said, "I smell like tripe and I'm a bit odd."

 

[Sam101]

My brother and I are really competitive when it comes to buying gifts for our mother's sister.



This year, my brother bought her a stairlift…



He's really upped the Auntie this time!

 

[lefty goldblatt]

 

[Three_Hat-tricks]

An old favourite

 

[NorCalBlue]

View attachment 185141

Maybe it did!

 

[chris63]

Not cutting my hair until we go 5 games with out a red card.

 

[chris63]

 

[chris63]

That was funny

 

[BigJoe#1]

I had a rash on my testicles so I went to see a doctor. She felt them and paused and said "you really do need to stop masturbating...."

I said "Why"?

She replied..... "because I am trying to bloody examine you"!

 

[Tuearts right boot]

View attachment 185133
.....and I ran, I ran so far away

Oh I like that.........very good.