Joke thread

[Alan Harper's Tash]

“My friend has a Quality Street chocolate blocking his windpipe."

“The Purple One?”

“Yeah, that’s him.”

 

[fanatic1]

Surely either there were four parachutes or the Welshman was still right then?!

Yeah you're right sorry. My bad. The pilot should have said only 4 parachutes left.

 

[mancity2012_eamo]

Yeah you're right sorry. My bad. The pilot should have said only 4 parachutes left.

At least the Oirish fella could count.

 

[Robinho's Subbuteo]

 

[fanatic1]

Michael Barrymore on the witness box at his swimming pool inquest.

Coroner - thumping his fist on the table: "How did the man die?"

Barrymore: "Buggered if I know"

 

[Bill Walker]

 

[Bill Walker]

"Two guys were hiking in the woods and saw a bear in the distance starting to charge towards them. One guy calmly puts down his back-pack and pulls out his running shoes to replace the hiking boots he was wearing. The other guys says, "Are you nuts? You're not going to outrun that bear." To which the first guy responded "The only one I have to out run right now is you."

 

[Bill Walker]

 

[bluebc]

 

[bluebc]

Not really a joke but the tyre incident at the end gave me a chuckle