Joke thread

[Alan Harper's Tash]

Can we please have a joke thread and a Too Clever For My Own Good Joke Thread

All this some bastard bartender poured a third of a pint for a mathematician is doing my swede in. I went to a Comprehensive. If you took O levels you got battered for being posh.
I get the 'I left my bike outside' joke, I don't get the Manchester fuckin' Grammer Head Boy shit, i bet even @Prestwich_Blue doesn't get them cos he only went to a polytechnic and we all know they are pretend uni's

Knock knock.
Who's there?
To.
To who?
To whom.

 

[Bill Walker]

I want one !!

 

[blue b4 the moon]

Thought that this might be appropriate then.

View attachment 94056

Make it stop!!!!!

 

[TravisBickle]

View attachment 94072

I want one !!

What did one butt cheek say to the other butt cheek?

Together we can stop this shit!

 

[Bill Walker]

 

[Lavinda Past]

Disused camera position.

That was a single by The Fall wasn’t it?

 

[the blue panther]

Disused camera position.

Is this something to do with Russell Brand?

 

[aguero93:20]

Can we please have a joke thread and a Too Clever For My Own Good Joke Thread

All this some bastard bartender poured a third of a pint for a mathematician is doing my swede in. I went to a Comprehensive. If you took O levels you got battered for being posh.
I get the 'I left my bike outside' joke, I don't get the Manchester fuckin' Grammer Head Boy shit, i bet even @Prestwich_Blue doesn't get them cos he only went to a polytechnic and we all know they are pretend uni's

We can't dumb everything down to your level misty, or the thread will end up on page 10.

 

[Alan Harper's Tash]

Adding a colon can completely change the meaning of a sentence.

For example:

Bob ate Jane's sandwich.
Bob ate Jane's colon.

 

[Alan Harper's Tash]

What goes quick?

A duck from New Zealand.