Joke thread

[Lavinda Past]

Don't we all ? Half eleven Friday night, you dare not wake the missus up and you can always blame the dog.

I had a friend whose granny went walkabout back in the 60s and ended up at a wedding reception. When people realised that she wasn't a guest, they tried to establish who she was.

The police were called, and when questioned she was unable to give them any information. So they checked her handbag.... which contained (among other less entertaining items) a turd wrapped very neatly in a handkerchief.

 

[bluebc]

 

[i kne albert davy]

In UK, ONE MILLION chickens a year go into the bin. Jeez.

How big's your bin :-)

 

[Blue Mist]

And what if you shat in the sink?

Ignoring the fact that you replied in the wrong post, I'd still blame the dog. My missus once went and bought him some tablets to make his farts smell better. Poor lad, I was silently farting for England and he was getting thrown out into the garden in the rain. Why she believed me, fuck knows.

 

[Lavinda Past]

.

 

[dronefromsector7G]

Ignoring the fact that you replied in the wrong post, I'd still blame the dog. My missus once went and bought him some tablets to make his farts smell better. Poor lad, I was silently farting for England and he was getting thrown out into the garden in the rain. Why she believed me, fuck knows.

I didn’t reply to the wrong post. You missed out shitting in the sink in your post

 

[Lavinda Past]

I didn’t reply to the wrong post. You missed out shitting in the sink in your post

He probably got it on the draining board.

 

[lefty goldblatt]

I had a friend whose granny went walkabout back in the 60s and ended up at a wedding reception. When people realised that she wasn't a guest, they tried to establish who she was.

The police were called, and when questioned she was unable to give them any information. So they checked her handbag.... which contained (among other less entertaining items) a turd wrapped very neatly in a handkerchief.

Sounds like the doggy bag she got from the buffet wasn't up to much

 

[lefty goldblatt]

 

[kippaxneil]

Local police are hunting a 'Knitting Needle Nutter', who stabbed six people in the backside recently.
They believe the attacker could be following some kind of pattern.