Big Swifty
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Joke thread
- Thread starter mrcunny
- Start date
balotellishaircut
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I went to bed last night thinking I was Peter Noone.One for the FOCs.
What do you call a crap pop band?
The Small Faeces.
Woke up this morning I’m feeling fine.
dronefromsector7G
Well-Known Member
There was a fire drill at IKEA today…We all assembled in the car park!
I see somebody corrected faeces to faces. Was that in itself a joke or a sense of humour failure? No good asking for more, I am useless at it. Just a lucky random thought as was “mohammered”. Two on the same day is a record.That's very good, KS55. I am still laughing at it.
Some more of that ilk, please.
PS EDIT. A decent joke writer would have written “ What do you call a constipated pop band? ….Small faeces.” but that only occurred to me 24 hours later.
Last edited:
Lavinda Past
Well-Known Member
Two lads at the top of a ski slope arguing. Bloke goes up to them and asks if can help.
Lad says "we can't agree how to ski... is itl zig zag or zag zig?'
Bloke says "sorry, I don't know, I'm a tobogganist"
"Never mind" says the lad, "I'll just have 20 Benson and Hedges please"
Lad says "we can't agree how to ski... is itl zig zag or zag zig?'
Bloke says "sorry, I don't know, I'm a tobogganist"
"Never mind" says the lad, "I'll just have 20 Benson and Hedges please"
Two English lads go for a drink in Paris.two lads at the top of a ski slope arguing
Can we have 2 pints of your best Stella Artois?
Barman: " Dont you know you're in France now. Its half litre over here"
Alright, In that case can we have 2 pints of your best halflitre?
Fiftyyearsandcounting
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- 25 Oct 2009
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A pregnant woman in labour was crying out "Could'n't, Shouldn't, Didn't, Wouldn't, Can't...she was having contractions.
After the baby was born, she was asked "Is it a boy or girl", she replied "Yes".
After the baby was born, she was asked "Is it a boy or girl", she replied "Yes".
Lavinda Past
Well-Known Member
A pregnant woman in labour was crying out "Could'n't, Shouldn't, Didn't, Wouldn't, Can't...she was having contractions.
After the baby was born, she was asked "Is it a boy or girl", she replied "Yes".
So the baby could talk then...? Amazing.
Ask her if she knows what time the punchline arrives...
HorlocksWalk
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- Joined
- 12 Nov 2013
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- 750
They also had a dog he was up-a-me-legoWhen I was eight years old, I had a Meccano kit. The kid next door had two. He was Up-a-meccano.
Uwe Already
Well-Known Member
Ignore them mate. I don’t care what the others say, I think it’s mildly amusing…When I was eight years old, I had a Meccano kit. The kid next door had two. He was Up-a-meccano.