Joke thread

[A57 the snake]

There’s a monkey swinging on the vines going home to his mrs whilst having some erotic thoughts, as he’s getting exited BANG he goes into a branch losing his todger , he painfully climbs down and asks mr elephant if he’s seen it ? No sorry replies mr elephant, he bumps into mr snake and gets the same answer, moments later he asks mr jaguar , have you seen my todger mr jaguar? Yes he said but.. I’ve ate it
What? said the monkey why have you done that ? The spotted cat replies, because I’m a tool eater jaguar!!

 

[Xhavenjoe]

When you've seen one shopping centre, you've seen a mall.

 

[sir baconface]

This was forwarded to me by an Everton fan. Seems legit…

FA statement on Haaland

"An inquiry into the unacceptable
conduct by Erling Haaland in the 3-3 draw with Tottenham Hotspur has been held. Following remonstrations with referee Simon Hooper, the Manchester City player subsequently tweeted 'Wtf' in response to a video of the passage of play. The FA take such actions extremely seriously and have thus decided to dock Everton
5 points".

 

[blue44]

 

[blue44]

 

[blue44]

 

[blue44]

 

[hammocity]

Two Bikers talking, one says:

“what’s the biggest thrill you’ve ever experienced?”

“Riding my bike at very high speeds”

“No, I meant the other kind of a thrill, you know like feeling a tit or a ****”

“Oh yeah, when I fell off at the traffic lights”.

 

[bluebc]

 

[bonespost]