Joke thread

[Alan Harper's Tash]

Give the women an inch and you'll never get it back....

Never have Find my IPhone active! Schoolboy error.

 

[meltonblue]

Just found out my 84 year old neighbour is on his own tomorrow so I’ve just been round and borrowed his chairs.

 

[mrcunny]

 

[Bill Walker]

 

[Bill Walker]

 

[Bill Walker]

 

[bladdered]

 

[roman totale]

A newlywed couple went to Australia for their honeymoon. While swimming in the ocean, the man was attacked and killed by a Great White Shark. He didn't suffer long, however. He had only been married for 5 days.

 

[fanatic1]

A nun was quietly sitting alone in a train compartment when a young drunken man entered. He was carrying a large bag of prawns and started eating them whilst flicking the shells at her. He cursed her loudly saying "I really hate all religious types - especially Roman Catholic cunts like you." He continued to fire prawn shell missiles at the upset nun.

Suddenly she' had enough, stood up, pulled the sliding window down, grabbed his prawn bag and threw it out of the train. Then she pulled the communication cord. The guy screamed "That'll cost you £100 you stupid woman and you'll be in trouble. She responds "Not half as much as you when the railway police smell your fingers."

 

[lefty goldblatt]

View attachment 102339

Did he leave his bike outside?