Joke thread

[Lavinda Past]

A young boy knocks on a door and says "Trick or Treat!"

A man opens the door and asks "what are you supposed to be?"

The boy answers "I'm a werewolf!"

The man says "but you don't look anything like a werewolf... you're just wearing regular clothes."

The boy responds "well, the full moon's not out, is it..."

 

[Lavinda Past]

Head, shoulders, knees and toes, knees and toes.

Eyes and ears and mouth and nose.

Head, shoulders, knees and toes, knees and toes.


A fun children's song and, coincidentally, the ingredients of a Big Mac.

 

[Lavinda Past]

A little old lady was walking down the street dragging two large black binbags behind her. One of the bags was ripped and every once in a while a £20 note fell out onto the pavement.

Noticing this, a policeman stopped her, and said, Excuse me madam, there are £20 notes falling out of that bag.""

""Oh dear"" said the little old lady. ""I'd better go back and see if I can find them. Thanks for telling me constable"

""Well, now, not so fast,"" said the policeman, "Where did you get all that money? You didn't steal it, did you?""

""Oh, no, no"", said the old lady. ""You see, my back garden is right next to a golf course.

A lot of golfers come and pee through a knot hole in my fence, right into my flower bed. It used to really tick me off. Pee kills the flowers, you know. Then I thought, 'why not make the best of it?

So, now, I stand quietly behind the fence by the knot hole, with my hedge clippers.

Every time a man sticks his thing through my fence, I surprise him, grab hold of it and say, 'stop! Give me £20, or off it comes.'

"Well, that seems only fair," said the policeman, laughing. ""OK. Good luck! Oh, by the way... what's in the other bag?"

"Not everybody pays."

 

[Bigg Bigg Blue]

 

[Bigg Bigg Blue]

 

[Bigg Bigg Blue]

 

[TinFoilHat]

What do Leeds families do for Halloween?

Pump Kin

 

[Lavinda Past]

 

[Skr1975]

 

[Bigg Bigg Blue]

Don't drink and drive girls