Ancient Citizen
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- 26 Jul 2009
- Messages
- 15,711
*Chortle!*Ding Dong said:
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an alternative browser.
You should upgrade or use an alternative browser.
Joke thread
- Thread starter mrcunny
- Start date
city saint
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- 17 Jan 2009
- Messages
- 6,329
I put my dogging gear up for sale on ebay last night,ive not had any bids but theres loads watching
At the National Art Gallery in Dublin , a husband and wife were staring at a portrait that had them completely confused.
The painting depicted 3 black men totally naked, sitting on a bench. Two of the figures had black penises, but the one in the middle had a pink penis.
The curator of the gallery realized that they were having trouble
interpreting the painting and offered his personal assessment.
He went on for over half an hour explaining how it depicted the sexual emasculation of African Americans in a predominately white, patriarchal
society. 'In fact', he pointed out, 'some serious critics believe that the pink penis also reflects the cultural and sociological oppression experienced by gay men in contemporary society'.
After the curator left, an Irishman approached the couple and said, 'Would you like to know what the painting is really about?'
'Now why would you claim to be more of an expert than the curator of the gallery?', asked the couple.
'Because I am the artist who painted the picture,' he replied.
'In fact, there are no African Americans depicted at all. They're just three Irish coal miners. The guy in the middle went home for lunch
The painting depicted 3 black men totally naked, sitting on a bench. Two of the figures had black penises, but the one in the middle had a pink penis.
The curator of the gallery realized that they were having trouble
interpreting the painting and offered his personal assessment.
He went on for over half an hour explaining how it depicted the sexual emasculation of African Americans in a predominately white, patriarchal
society. 'In fact', he pointed out, 'some serious critics believe that the pink penis also reflects the cultural and sociological oppression experienced by gay men in contemporary society'.
After the curator left, an Irishman approached the couple and said, 'Would you like to know what the painting is really about?'
'Now why would you claim to be more of an expert than the curator of the gallery?', asked the couple.
'Because I am the artist who painted the picture,' he replied.
'In fact, there are no African Americans depicted at all. They're just three Irish coal miners. The guy in the middle went home for lunch
city saint
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- 17 Jan 2009
- Messages
- 6,329
landlord at pub has announced a £100 prize for the best haloween outfit.the wife won it last year ,she wasn't very happy about it to be honest she"d only come to pick me up
theinvisibleman
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- 15 Apr 2009
- Messages
- 428
PMSL!@nimal said:At the National Art Gallery in Dublin , a husband and wife were staring at a portrait that had them completely confused.
The painting depicted 3 black men totally naked, sitting on a bench. Two of the figures had black penises, but the one in the middle had a pink penis.
The curator of the gallery realized that they were having trouble
interpreting the painting and offered his personal assessment.
He went on for over half an hour explaining how it depicted the sexual emasculation of African Americans in a predominately white, patriarchal
society. 'In fact', he pointed out, 'some serious critics believe that the pink penis also reflects the cultural and sociological oppression experienced by gay men in contemporary society'.
After the curator left, an Irishman approached the couple and said, 'Would you like to know what the painting is really about?'
'Now why would you claim to be more of an expert than the curator of the gallery?', asked the couple.
'Because I am the artist who painted the picture,' he replied.
'In fact, there are no African Americans depicted at all. They're just three Irish coal miners. The guy in the middle went home for lunch
meltonblue
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- 14 May 2013
- Messages
- 7,020
My boss told me; "Dress for the job you want, not the job you have"
Now, I'm sitting in a disciplinary meeting, dressed as Batman...
Now, I'm sitting in a disciplinary meeting, dressed as Batman...
Ste1969
Well-Known Member
These tampon adverts lack a little reality.
What they need is a boyfriend being punched after trying to negotiate a blow job.
What they need is a boyfriend being punched after trying to negotiate a blow job.
Your the Father . . .
A guy goes to the supermarket and notices an attractive woman waving at him.
He walks over to her and she greets him warmly.
He's rather taken aback because he can't figure out where he knows her from.
So he says,
'Do you know me?'
To which she replies,
'I think you're the father of one of my kids.
' His mind races back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful to his wife and says,
'Are you the stripper from the bachelor party that I had sex with on the pool table,
with all my buddies watching,
while your partner whipped my ass with wet celery?'
She looks into his eyes and says calmly,
'No, I'm your son's teacher.'
A guy goes to the supermarket and notices an attractive woman waving at him.
He walks over to her and she greets him warmly.
He's rather taken aback because he can't figure out where he knows her from.
So he says,
'Do you know me?'
To which she replies,
'I think you're the father of one of my kids.
' His mind races back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful to his wife and says,
'Are you the stripper from the bachelor party that I had sex with on the pool table,
with all my buddies watching,
while your partner whipped my ass with wet celery?'
She looks into his eyes and says calmly,
'No, I'm your son's teacher.'
A newlywed couple on their honeymoon
prepares to see each other naked for the first time.
The husband exposes his knotted and twisted feet.
He explains,
"I had Tolio as a child."
The wife asks if he means Polio.
He says, "No, it only affects the toes."
He removes his pants and reveals deformed knees.
He admits, "I had Kneesles, too."
Finally,
he pulls off his boxers.
In shock, the woman gasps,
"Oh no - Smallcox, too!"
prepares to see each other naked for the first time.
The husband exposes his knotted and twisted feet.
He explains,
"I had Tolio as a child."
The wife asks if he means Polio.
He says, "No, it only affects the toes."
He removes his pants and reveals deformed knees.
He admits, "I had Kneesles, too."
Finally,
he pulls off his boxers.
In shock, the woman gasps,
"Oh no - Smallcox, too!"
I was in Paris last weekend with the missus on a romantic break. When walking down the Champs Elysees a load of cyclists came bombing down. They were swerving in and out of traffic shouting obscenities. We got called "puff, paedo!, wankers! Fuckmonkey, shit arse, nob jockey, piss flaps, fucker! Twat!"
Turns out it was the Tourette's de France.
Turns out it was the Tourette's de France.