Joke thread

[The Earl of Abington]

A guy walks into a library, goes up to the enquiry desk and says to the woman..."I'd like cod and chips, sausage and chips and a steak and kidney pie and chips please". The poor woman is a bit confused, she says.."you do realise this is a library, don't you"?
He says "oh, right, I'm really sorry. So, that's " cod and chips, sausage and chips and a steak and kidney pie and chips, please".

 

[BimboBob]

A guy walks into a library, goes up to the enquiry desk and says to the woman..."I'd like cod and chips, sausage and chips and a steak and kidney pie and chips please". The poor woman is a bit confused, she says.."you do realise this is a library, don't you"?
He says "oh, right, I'm really sorry. So, that's " cod and chips, sausage and chips and a steak and kidney pie and chips, please".

What?

 

[blue b4 the moon]

What?

Think he's saying it quietly the second time.

 

[Trautmann's Chiropractor]

Bloody Amazon I ordered 4 Kindles

They sent me a Two Ronnies DVD

This is unappreciated.

 

[Zuriblue]

I hate it when these buggers rock up, banging on the door, telling me that I need to be “saved” or I will “burn”.

Flaming Firemen, who do they think they are?

 

[BlueHammer85]

Be careful on the roads this year - a lot of people will be drinking and letting their wives drive.

 

[aguero93:20]

I hate it when these buggers rock up, banging on the door, telling me that I need to be “saved” or I will “burn”.

Flaming Firemen, who do they think they are?

 

[Le Havre Oswald]

I've got a polish friend who's a sound technician and a czech one too Czech one too.

 

[talkativesprout]

I've got a polish friend who's a sound technician and a czech one too Czech one too.

sound like my mate Mike

 

[jimharri]

My neighbour with the big tits is walking up and down the garden topless. ...I just wish his wife would do the same.