sir baconface
Well-Known Member
My plumber said he was replacing my toilet.
So I pissed on him.
So I pissed on him.
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Joke thread
- Thread starter mrcunny
- Start date
dronefromsector7G
Well-Known Member
I quit my job as a scuba-diving instructor… I knew deep down it wasn't for me
Zubrman
Well-Known Member
Those railway workers who are called out to remove branches that have blocked railway lines after a storm are not paid for the job they do.
It's considered fallen-tree work.
It's considered fallen-tree work.
M
M
manchester blue
Guest
What has Ole and erectile disfunction got in common?
Marklr
Well-Known Member
flops?What has Ole and erectile disfunction got in common?
M
M
manchester blue
Guest
It was about semis but just remembered it was a final! Haha. Too much celebratory wine. You got me out of it nicely though!flops?
dickie davies
Well-Known Member
They're both limp dicksWhat has Ole and erectile disfunction got in common?
bluemoon32
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- 2 Jan 2009
- Messages
- 24,875
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- City
Drug dealer Carl Stewart was tracked down after sharing a photo of Stilton cheese.
He was identified through his fingerprints after police analysed the image he posted in an online chat.
He should have posted more Caerphilly.
He was identified through his fingerprints after police analysed the image he posted in an online chat.
He should have posted more Caerphilly.
mancity2012_eamo
Well-Known Member
Just not up for it.flops?
DrBlueBob
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- 3 Jul 2008
- Messages
- 6,538
- Team supported
- Need you ask?
A bush ranger in Africa went to his local bar and told everyone that he could identify any animal pelt and what killed it by touch alone. Obviously he was going to want a free pint for each correct answer.
The next night a few pelts had been brought to the bar for him to feel.
The barman duly blindfolds the ranger and the game began.
First pelt the ranger stroked it and his hand was guided to the wound site whereupon he poked his finger into the entry wound and declared: "Lion, killed by a .303 rifle. Correct, murmerings of approval, first pint.
Next up he correctly identified a zebra killed by a .204 shot.
He then went on to answer impala killed by a spear.
Lots of drink flowed and the evening was good.
Next morning he wakes up to see that he is sporting a fairly nasty looking black eye so he turns to his wife and said "I don't remember this, I must have been mugged or got into a fight"
The wife tells him that she gave him the black eye. What for he exclaimed in surprise.
Well, says she, you came home last night, rollicking drunk, crawled into bed next to me, stuffed your hand down my knickers and said "Skunk, killed by a hatchet!"
The next night a few pelts had been brought to the bar for him to feel.
The barman duly blindfolds the ranger and the game began.
First pelt the ranger stroked it and his hand was guided to the wound site whereupon he poked his finger into the entry wound and declared: "Lion, killed by a .303 rifle. Correct, murmerings of approval, first pint.
Next up he correctly identified a zebra killed by a .204 shot.
He then went on to answer impala killed by a spear.
Lots of drink flowed and the evening was good.
Next morning he wakes up to see that he is sporting a fairly nasty looking black eye so he turns to his wife and said "I don't remember this, I must have been mugged or got into a fight"
The wife tells him that she gave him the black eye. What for he exclaimed in surprise.
Well, says she, you came home last night, rollicking drunk, crawled into bed next to me, stuffed your hand down my knickers and said "Skunk, killed by a hatchet!"