A bush ranger in Africa went to his local bar and told everyone that he could identify any animal pelt and what killed it by touch alone. Obviously he was going to want a free pint for each correct answer.
The next night a few pelts had been brought to the bar for him to feel.
The barman duly blindfolds the ranger and the game began.
First pelt the ranger stroked it and his hand was guided to the wound site whereupon he poked his finger into the entry wound and declared: "Lion, killed by a .303 rifle. Correct, murmerings of approval, first pint.
Next up he correctly identified a zebra killed by a .204 shot.
He then went on to answer impala killed by a spear.
Lots of drink flowed and the evening was good.
Next morning he wakes up to see that he is sporting a fairly nasty looking black eye so he turns to his wife and said "I don't remember this, I must have been mugged or got into a fight"
The wife tells him that she gave him the black eye. What for he exclaimed in surprise.
Well, says she, you came home last night, rollicking drunk, crawled into bed next to me, stuffed your hand down my knickers and said "Skunk, killed by a hatchet!"
