Joke thread

[Bill Walker]

Are you a Milton Jones fan by any chance?

No, sorry I've never heard of him.

 

[Maly]

No, sorry I've never heard of him.

Looking at your couple of jokes on the last page, I think you’d enjoy watching him. Loves a one liner & im pretty sure I’ve heard him use the bad Minton joke.

Right up my street anyway mate. As is Timothy Vine

 

[Bill Walker]

Woke up this morning and I found a dead woman in my washing machine.................

Least she died 'In Comfort'

 

[balotellishaircut]

Woke up this morning and I found a dead woman in my washing machine.................

Least she died 'In Comfort'

Was she called Persilla ?

 

[lefty goldblatt]

Was she called Persilla ?

Lenora?

 

[dickie davies]

Woke up this morning and I found a dead woman in my washing machine.................

Least she died 'In Comfort'

That's a bit bold

 

[lefty goldblatt]

I'll Surf around it, until the Tide comes in, on the Horizon. Catch my Dreft?

 

[Bill Walker]

That's a bit bold

I suppose I sud laugh at that..

But I'm feeling agitated.

 

[lefty goldblatt]

My mate Daz likes all these puns. He's been a bit pissed off lately, when his Ariel fell of his roof

 

[Bill Walker]

My mate Daz likes all these puns. He's been a bit pissed off lately, when his Ariel fell of his roof

Maybe you and he should get together to iron things out.

 

[dickie davies]

Maybe you and he should get together to iron things out.

How do you think he should spin it!

 

[Bill Walker]

How do you think he should spin it!

Slowly, these things tend to cycle, but it will probably all come out in the wash.

 

[Alan Harper's Tash]

 

[sir baconface]

Kids today don't know how well off they are.

I was orphaned at a young age and raised by a pack of hyenas.

No toys, no posh house and facing starvation scouring for food. Boy, though, did we have some laughs.

 

[Maccblue]

 

[Alan Harper's Tash]

 

[jimharri]

I decided to hire one of those fancy limousines for a day, only to discover that the fee doesn't include a driver. I'm gutted to have shelled out all that money on a flash motor, and I've got nothing to chauffeur it......

 

[dronefromsector7G]

Someone stolen all the bus stop signs from our street... For fucks sake, where do these people get off?

 

[Harrilew]

Growing up my parents played Madness and The Specials constantly every day...

Ska’d me for life.

 

[mrcunny]

Not sure if this has been on before....