Joke thread

[BackofJeanette]

In his early days Glen Campbell used to assist the referees at football games in Derby.
He was a ' linesman for the County'

 

[jimharri]

A priest had a heart attack and when he woke he was being pushed on a trolley by two beautiful nurses, "Oh; am I in heaven?" he asked. "No," said one of the nurses. "We're just taking a short cut through the childrens' ward."

 

[The perfect fumble]

 

[ColinBellsjockstrap]

What did the gestapo officer say to the broken down grandfather clock?




"Vee haf vays of making you tok"

 

[Passittogordon]

Jonny Evans.

 

[bucks]

From the Edinburgh fringe :- I wasn't particularly close to my dad when he died, which was lucky because he trod on a land mine.

 

[Trautmann's Chiropractor]

I was standing outside a bakery the other day when I seen a load of gunmen go in and ransack the place.

Now I've seen some ridiculous sights, but this one takes the cake.

 

[johnmc]

I was standing outside a bakery the other day when I seen a load of gunmen go in and ransack the place.

Now I've seen some ridiculous sights, but this one takes the cake.

Takes the cake? That's not a saying. It's buscuit if you are being PC surely.

 

[Trautmann's Chiropractor]

Takes the cake? That's not a saying. It's buscuit if you are being PC surely.

Was all proud of myself until I announced this to the family, only to be bombarded by that same reply. On these shores you are correct, but in America that's what they use I think. Hopefully our stateside pals will enjoy it.

 

[talkativesprout]

Takes the cake? That's not a saying. It's buscuit if you are being PC surely.

Stupid American Bakers. I don't know if you are aware but they call this bun/cake thing a muffin. Some silly fuckers over here have started using it, but i doubt it will catch on.