Joke thread

[KS55]

My favourite joke of all time appeared in the Spectator comp many years ago. Comp: write a newspaper headline that changes people's view of history. Winner:
"Archduke Ferdinand found alive. First World War fought by mistake."

 

[Stuuuuuu]

This lady told me to "come over, there is no body is home"

So I went over and there was no body home.

I've read this a few times and I'm still scratching my head. You're gonna have to explain it mate.

 

[manchester blue]

I've read this a few times and I'm still scratching my head. You're gonna have to explain it mate.

The extra ‘is’ doesn’t help. And I assume ‘no body’ should be ‘nobody’. As I see it if she had said nobody ‘else’ is home there is no joke. He thought that was the case, that nobody else was home, but there was nobody at home at all. So no sex. Because nobody was home.

I could be wrong.

 

[r.soleofsalford]

The extra ‘is’ doesn’t help. And I assume ‘no body’ should be ‘nobody’. As I see it if she had said nobody ‘else’ is home there is no joke. He thought that was the case, that nobody else was home, but there was nobody at home at all. So no sex. Because nobody was home.

I could be wrong.

I hope you`re wrong because it all seems rather sad.

8-(

 

[Alan Harper's Tash]

Whatever I did, whatever I said, I didn’t mean it

 

[blue44]

 

[blue44]

 

[blue44]

 

[blue44]

 

[Grumpyman]

 

[mancity2012_eamo]

View attachment 29777

It’s the honey monster.

 

[mancity2012_eamo]

View attachment 29779

They’re not my friends. No I don’t remember.

 

[kun]

I've read this a few times and I'm still scratching my head. You're gonna have to explain it mate.

It's an old Rodney Dangerfield gag.

She says come over "there's no one home"
When I get there no one is home, not even her.

It doesn't come across as well written down.

 

[BlueMoonAcrossThePond]

 

[Stuuuuuu]

It's an old Rodney Dangerfield gag.

She says come over "there's no one home"
When I get there no one is home, not even her.

It doesn't come across as well written down.

So why did she tell the guy to come over if she wasn't there?

 

[dronefromsector7G]

So why did she tell the guy to come over if she wasn't there?

Fuck off

 

[idahoblues]

Fuck off

Well said

 

[Stuuuuuu]

Crikey, did someone get up on the wrong side of bed this morning?

 

[City Hobgoblin]

Business teacher : What is a stakeholder?

Student : A vampire hunter’s assistant ?

 

[snorky]

Fuck off

Yes, but where did she fuck off too?
I don't get it.