Joke thread

[dronefromsector7G]

I work all hours every bloody week to provide a great Christmas for the kids. And what happens? Some fat twat with a beard gets all the credit... Still, my fault for marrying her I suppose!

 

[dronefromsector7G]

My friend just bought his wife a wooden leg for Christmas… It's not her main present, just a stocking filler!

 

[Indaparkside]

My friend just bought his wife a wooden leg for Christmas… It's not her main present, just a stocking filler!

That was Paul McCartney years old

 

[dronefromsector7G]

That was Paul McCartney years old

It’s for the youngsters

 

[Indaparkside]

It’s for the youngsters

The other was he bought heather a plane for Xmas she still uses a razor on the other leg

 

[blue44]

 

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[JASR]

For ***'s sake, Just got home and found the door and all the windows open and everything gone.

What kind of sick b*stard does that to someones advent calendar?!

 

[dronefromsector7G]

This years novelty Prince Andrew Christmas Advent Calendar has been scrapped due to a design fault… Apparently, only the flaps from 12-16 would open!

 

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[crazyg]

It was the @Idesofmarch69 fellah I was having a dig at (giggle) not you.

I didn't.

 

[Bigg Bigg Blue]

We named our Christmas tree Amy Winehouse this year because it's going to die and leave needles all over the floor.

 

[Blue Mist]

We named our Christmas tree Amy Winehouse this year because it's going to die and leave needles all over the floor.

Brilliant