Joke thread

[bluebc]

 

[bluebc]

 

[sir baconface]

Christmas was fast approaching and Santa was in a world of hurt. Toy production was behind schedule, and the Elf union was threatening a strike. Mrs. Santa had washed his Santa suit with the lists of which children had been naughty and which had been nice in the pocket. Two of the reindeer were down with hoof and mouth, and he had just taken an "extended warranty" call about his sleigh. To crown it all, City had just been smashed by Aston Villa.

There was a knock on the door. Santa grumbled "Now what?" and answered the door.

There was an angel holding a beautiful tree. "Hello, Santa. I'm the Christmas Tree Angel and I have brought you this lovely tree. Where would you like me to put it?"

And that is why we traditionally have an angel on top of our Christmas trees.

 

[fanatic1]

When an English girl loses her virginity she says "Thank God that's out of the way. I could really go a nice cup of tea now."

When a French girl loses her virginity she cries "Oooh la la . C'est magnifique mon cheri. Forminable! Repetez moi s'il vous plait."

When an Australian girl loses her virginity she screams "Do all yous guys play for the same football team?"

 

[BackofJeanette]

The wife came back from buying her costume for a fancy dress party earlier.

"Stay there baby" she said to me, "while I nip upstairs and put it on to show you."

She came back down, opened the living room door and stood before me.

"Wow honey, that's a winning costume you've got there." I told her. "That's the most convincing killer whale outfit I've ever seen."

"I'm a nun, you ****”

 

[cinnamon]

Where are the mod’s on Friday night? Partying in the Caribbean on Ric’s 2nd yacht no doubt, whilst they should be in here, handing out immediate thread bans for … ‘jokes’ like that!

Well...

 

[cinnamon]

It's that time of the year again.

 

[Bill Walker]

 

[Bill Walker]

 

[Blue Mist]

Tails.