Joke thread

[DrBlueBob]

View attachment 101952

Is it just me or is that a dogs nose poking out ?
Miniature schnauzer with a trademark beard.

 

[Xhavenjoe]

 

[Alan Harper's Tash]

 

[Alan Harper's Tash]

I played a blinder at snooker last night and won easily.

And then I got told off for not calling him 'visually impaired'.

 

[Alan Harper's Tash]

The security guard in Tesco caught me stealing a turkey and said "What are you doing with that?"

"Potatoes, sprouts and carrots" I replied.

 

[hammocity]

View attachment 101889

 

[SamTheGuru]

I have a load of jokes about homeless people ready to use on Christmas Day.

The problem is, most of them don't work.

 

[BimboBob]

Would be a better joke with unemployed rather than homeless.

 

[RiversideBlue]

Would be a better joke with unemployed rather than homeless.

Or scousers

 

[Bill Walker]

 

[BimboBob]

 

[SamTheGuru]

Would be a better joke with unemployed rather than homeless.

That was the original joke. Just trying to put it into a seasonal context :(

 

[Zubrman]

That was the original joke. Just trying to put it into a seasonal context :(

The homeless are for life, not just just Christmas.

 

[SamTheGuru]

The homeless are for life, not just just Christmas.

 

[Bill Walker]

 

[KS55]

View attachment 102114

Sven likes this joke. Just be sure to clear away the cups first.

 

[Lavinda Past]

Ladies... A bit of advice.

Running with the scissors is dangerous. But not as dangerous as scissoring with the runs.

 

[Tuearts right boot]

Ladies... A bit of advice.

Running with the scissors is dangerous. But not as dangerous as scissoring with the runs.

I got there in the end !!

 

[Alan Harper's Tash]

 

[Bill Walker]