Two old guys were having a few jars in their local boozer. The first one said "I feel very sad that my two marriages didn't work out - Both wives died" The other said "What happened to the first?" He replied "Poisoned mushrooms."
"Oh dear", said his friend "How did the second die" The first said "Fractured skull" "Oh that's really terrible what on earth happened?" The first replied "She wouldn't eat her mushrooms."