Joke thread

A farmer ordered a high-tech milking machine. Since the equipment arrived when his wife was out of town, he decided to test it on himself first. So, he inserted his 'manhood' into the equipment, turned on the switch and everything else was automatic. Soon, he realized that the equipment provided him with much more pleasure than his wife did. When the fun was over, though, he quickly realized that he couldn't remove the instrument from his 'member'. He read the manual but didn't find any useful information on how to disengage himself. He tried every button on the instrument, but still without success. Finally, he decided to call the supplier's Customer Service Hot Line with his mobile phone (Thank god for mobile phones!). 'Hello, I just bought a milking machine from your company. It works Fantastic, but how do I remove it from the cow's udder?' 'Don't worry,' replied the customer service rep, 'The machine will release automatically once it's collected two gallons.' Have a nice day..
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A young beautiful woman enters the ground floor of the elevator of a high class hotel. She is reeking of expensive perfume and turns to the scruffy female cleaner in the corner and says "Giogio of Beverley Hills - £150 an ounce."
A minute later another lovely young woman enters, smelling very fragrantly,, turns to the cleaner and says "Chanel No 5 - £200 an ounce." The lift ascends.

3 floors up the cleaner grabs her cart and exits. Just before the door closes she spreads her cheeks and drops a rasping, maloderous fart. Turning to the young women she snarls and sneers "Week old broccoli and goats milk - 50 pence a flagon."
 
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