Joke thread

An elderly man walks into a crowded hospital emergency room and goes up to the receptionist. "Why do you need to see the doctor?" she asks.

"There's something wrong with my dick," says the geezer.

"Don't say that out here in front of everybody," scolds the receptionist. "Up here, say something like 'There's something wrong with my ear.' Then, when you go in to see the doctor, discuss the real problem in private."

"Now," says the receptionist, "Let's try again. Why do you need to see the doctor?"

The old man says, "There's something wrong with my ear."

The receptionist asks, "And what is wrong with your ear?"

And the old man says, "I can't piss out of it."
 
A market researcher for the Vaseline Company knocked on a door and was greeted by a frazzled young mother with three little kids running wild around her.

"I'm conducting a survey about Vaseline," he said. "Do you use the product?"

"Absolutely," she replied. "My husband and I use it all the time."

Curious, the researcher asked, "If you don’t mind me asking, what do you use it for?"

“We use it when we make love,” she answered matter-of-factly.

The researcher blinked, surprised. “Wow, most people give me some nonsense about using it on a squeaky door or a rusty bike chain. But let’s be honest—I know what it’s really used for. I appreciate your honesty! Since you’ve been so open, can you tell me exactly how you use it?”

The woman smiled and said, “Oh, that’s easy. We put it on the doorknob—keeps the kids out.”
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Unread Posts

Don't have an account? Register now and see fewer ads!

SIGN UP
Back
Top