Lavinda Past
Well-Known Member
Let's not let facts get in the way of a good story... ;-)
Joke thread
- Thread starter mrcunny
- Start date
Let's not let facts get in the way of a good story... ;-)
Grassland Blue
Well-Known Member
What have a fat bird and a moped got in common?
They're both fun to ride but you wouldn't want to be seen on one....
They're both fun to ride but you wouldn't want to be seen on one....
bladdered
Well-Known Member
kippaxwarrior
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Lavinda Past
Well-Known Member
Imagine if butterfly racing existed...
Would you have a flutter?
Would you have a flutter?
Lavinda Past
Well-Known Member
Sir Anthony Hopkins is Welsh... Why has he never been accused of having sex with sheep?
It's all down to the silence of the lambs.
It's all down to the silence of the lambs.
Lavinda Past
Well-Known Member
I went to London last weekend and had sex with a model
I'm now barred from Madame Tussaud's
I'm now barred from Madame Tussaud's
Lavinda Past
Well-Known Member
A lonely frog goes to a fortune teller.
You're going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you, says the fortune teller
The frog is thrilled.This is great he croaks,
Will I meet her in the park?
No, replies the fortune teller... in a biology class.
You're going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you, says the fortune teller
The frog is thrilled.This is great he croaks,
Will I meet her in the park?
No, replies the fortune teller... in a biology class.
Lavinda Past
Well-Known Member
My mother in law phoned me today and said "Come quick, I think l'm dying".
I said call me back when you're sure
I said call me back when you're sure
Lavinda Past
Well-Known Member
I bought some of that pedigree Chum they keep advertising,
It was terrible. In the end I had to give it to the dog
It was terrible. In the end I had to give it to the dog
Lavinda Past
Well-Known Member
A man walks into a hardware shop and says, "One mousetrap please, and can you hurry up, I have a bus to catch".
"Sorry" says the sales assistant, "our traps aren't that big"
"Sorry" says the sales assistant, "our traps aren't that big"
Lavinda Past
Well-Known Member
Just came back from a Shoe-mender's Convention.
What a load of cobblers that was
What a load of cobblers that was
Lavinda Past
Well-Known Member
I was walking past Greggs in town today and before I knew it, a vanilla slice hit me on the back of the head, this was quickly followed by a danish pastry and then a whack from an iced finger.
Although I was ok, it was still an unsavoury incident....
Although I was ok, it was still an unsavoury incident....
Lavinda Past
Well-Known Member
Just saw my wife sorting out a large jar of pennies.
I think she's going through the change.
I think she's going through the change.
Lavinda Past
Well-Known Member
My dentist told me that if I were to have false teeth fitted my speech might be affected.
I went ahead and had them anyway.
I can't say I'm sorry.
I went ahead and had them anyway.
I can't say I'm sorry.
Lavinda Past
Well-Known Member
Just saw an advert for a signed photo of John Lennon's wife.
£100 ono
£100 ono
Lavinda Past
Well-Known Member
Fun fact:
In the 1970’s, Sister Sledge used to drive around in British cars...
Their favourites were the Austin Music and Cortina Trap.
In the 1970’s, Sister Sledge used to drive around in British cars...
Their favourites were the Austin Music and Cortina Trap.
Lavinda Past
Well-Known Member
I've started dating women again.
I saw one today... I'm guessing 1983
I saw one today... I'm guessing 1983