A Ventriloquist rings his agent to complain he isn't getting any bookings anymore - "I don't understand, I used to do the Royal Variety and London Palladium?"
"Well it's the act you see," says his Agent, "it's old hat - the public love mediums now and talking to people on the other side, why don't you try that?"
So the Ventriloquist goes on a crash mediums course to learn the basics. A few weeks later to practice he sets up in a small shop on the High Street, advertising his work and ability to summon and speak to the dead.
First customer walks in, a little old lady. "Yes madam, how can I help?" He asks
"Well it's my Jack," she says, "he passed away 2 years ago and I do miss him, I'd love to have a chat and a catch up with him."
The former ventriloquist thinks for a moment and replies - "I'm sure I can help. I can offer the basic seance for £20, the advanced seance for £40 or the luxury seance for £60."
"What happens with the basic seance?" She asks
"Well madam, you ask Jack a question and I'll have a word with him and let you know what he says."
"That's a bit impersonal," she replies, what about the advanced seance - what happens with that?"
"For £40 Madam, you ask Jack any question and he'll answer you himself right on this room!"
"That's great," she replies, "I'll go for that but as a matter of interest what would happen with the luxury seance?"
"Well Madam," he says, "For £60 you can ask Jack anything you want and he'll chat to you in this room whilst I drink a glass of water!"
