jimharri
Moderator
Two fish in a tank and one says to the other....... "Can you drive this thing"?
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Joke thread
- Thread starter mrcunny
- Start date
foetus
Well-Known Member
Not your finest effort...jimharri said:Two fish in a tank and one says to the other....... "Can you drive this thing"?
jimharri
Moderator
Yeah; I know. Sorry.foetus said:Not your finest effort...jimharri said:Two fish in a tank and one says to the other....... "Can you drive this thing"?
Fish can`t talkjimharri said:Yeah; I know. Sorry.foetus said:Not your finest effort...jimharri said:Two fish in a tank and one says to the other....... "Can you drive this thing"?
jimharri
Moderator
Damn. You know what; you're absolutely correct.Ding Dong said:Fish can`t talkjimharri said:Yeah; I know. Sorry.foetus said:Not your finest effort...
D
D
dronefromsector7g
Guest
A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a chair
foetus
Well-Known Member
A dyslexic walks into a bradronefromsector7g said:A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a chair
TTTCITYBHOY said:Oh that's fukn hilarious.mrcunny said:I've learnt a valuable lesson from the recent Glasgow helicopter crash... Pigs can't fly!
You proud of that.
9 people aren't.
7 innocents & 2 "pigs".
haha behave toughboy.
foetus
Well-Known Member
A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him. As he sits, the waitress comes over and asks for their orders. The man says, "I'll have a hamburger, fries and a coke" and turns to the ostrich, "What's yours?" "I'll have the same," says the ostrich. A short time later the waitress returns with the order. "That will be $6.40 please," and the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment.
The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says, "I'll have a hamburger, fries and a coke," and the ostrich says, "I'll have the same." Once again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.
This becomes a routine until late one evening, the two enter again. "The usual?" asks the waitress.
"No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato and salad," says the man, "same for me," says the ostrich.
A short time later the waitress comes with the order and says, "That will be $12.62." Once again the man pulls exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table.
The waitress can't hold back her curiosity any longer. "Excuse me,sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change out of your pocket every time?"
"Well," says the man, "several years ago I was cleaning the attic and I found an old lamp When I rubbed it a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there."
"That's brilliant!" says the waitress. "Most people would wish for a million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!"
"That's right. Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there," says the man.
The waitress asks, "One other thing, sir, what's with the ostrich?" The man sighs, pauses, and answers, "My second wish was for a tall chick with long legs who agrees with everything I say."
The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says, "I'll have a hamburger, fries and a coke," and the ostrich says, "I'll have the same." Once again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.
This becomes a routine until late one evening, the two enter again. "The usual?" asks the waitress.
"No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato and salad," says the man, "same for me," says the ostrich.
A short time later the waitress comes with the order and says, "That will be $12.62." Once again the man pulls exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table.
The waitress can't hold back her curiosity any longer. "Excuse me,sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change out of your pocket every time?"
"Well," says the man, "several years ago I was cleaning the attic and I found an old lamp When I rubbed it a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there."
"That's brilliant!" says the waitress. "Most people would wish for a million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!"
"That's right. Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there," says the man.
The waitress asks, "One other thing, sir, what's with the ostrich?" The man sighs, pauses, and answers, "My second wish was for a tall chick with long legs who agrees with everything I say."