Joke thread

[blueduff]

Can't believe I laughed at that.

The stupid ending and the beers have made me laugh too, a bit

 

[StrangewaysHereWeCome]

Guy who owns the shop across the road from me told me he's going to have to close the place down. Only had it for two years and everyone around here supported it. Was a much needed grocers and the supermarket is a distance so business was good but, has had problems with thieves burgling the place.

The final straw was the other night. 2nd break in in a month and they took everything and wrecked it as well. I can't get my head around that senselessness?

Anyway, Insurance company found a loophole so they won't be coughing up. Poor lads lost everything, even his Mrs because she apparently was against it from the start.

This latest break in they stole all the teabags and forty jars of coffee, aload of energy drinks like redbull etc.
They even brewed up for the themselves in the back using his Espresso machine before breaking that too.

I just dunno how these cunts sleep at night

 

[Wilfried Chicken KFC]

I've no idea why
you posts jokes

 

[Guardiola's Disciple]

Guy who owns the shop across the road from me told me he's going to have to close the place down. Only had it for two years and everyone around here supported it. Was a much needed grocers and the supermarket is a distance so business was good but, has had problems with thieves burgling the place.

The final straw was the other night. 2nd break in in a month and they took everything and wrecked it as well. I can't get my head around that senselessness?

Anyway, Insurance company found a loophole so they won't be coughing up. Poor lads lost everything, even his Mrs because she apparently was against it from the start.

This latest break in they stole all the teabags and forty jars of coffee, aload of energy drinks like redbull etc.
They even brewed up for the themselves in the back using his Espresso machine before breaking that too.

I just dunno how these cunts sleep at night

The fuck mate I was waiting for the punch line

 

[ayrshire_blue]

Guy who owns the shop across the road from me told me he's going to have to close the place down. Only had it for two years and everyone around here supported it. Was a much needed grocers and the supermarket is a distance so business was good but, has had problems with thieves burgling the place.

The final straw was the other night. 2nd break in in a month and they took everything and wrecked it as well. I can't get my head around that senselessness?

Anyway, Insurance company found a loophole so they won't be coughing up. Poor lads lost everything, even his Mrs because she apparently was against it from the start.

This latest break in they stole all the teabags and forty jars of coffee, aload of energy drinks like redbull etc.
They even brewed up for the themselves in the back using his Espresso machine before breaking that too.

I just dunno how these cunts sleep at night

I don't get it.

 

[trotsky]

Thieves broke into a family owned corner shop and stole a dozen cases of Red Bull and 100 jars of coffee. I don't know how these people sleep at night!
... is the shortened (funnier) version

 

[StrangewaysHereWeCome]

Thieves broke into a family owned corner shop and stole a dozen cases of Red Bull and 100 jars of coffee. I don't know how these people sleep at night!
... is the shortened (funnier) version

 

[blueincy]

 

[jimharri]

Donald Trump and Barack O'Bama find themselves in the same barbershop.
As they sat there, each being worked on by a different barber, not a word was spoken. The barbers were even afraid to start a conversation, for fear that it would turn into politics.
As the barbers finished their shaves, the one who had Trump in his chair reached for the aftershave.
Trump was quick to stop him saying "No way buddy, my wife will smell that and think I've been in a damned whorehouse."
The second barber turned to Obama and said "How about you?"
Obama replied, "Go ahead, my wife doesn't know what the inside of a whorehouse smells like."

 

[BlueMojito]

Donald Trump and Barack O'Bama find themselves in the same barbershop.
As they sat there, each being worked on by a different barber, not a word was spoken. The barbers were even afraid to start a conversation, for fear that it would turn into politics.
As the barbers finished their shaves, the one who had Trump in his chair reached for the aftershave.
Trump was quick to stop him saying "No way buddy, my wife will smell that and think I've been in a damned whorehouse."
The second barber turned to Obama and said "How about you?"
Obama replied, "Go ahead, my wife doesn't know what the inside of a whorehouse smells like."

:-)