Josko Gvardiol

[Roachy]

I hate to do this but I couldn't resist. Here's your scout report on Erling Haaland:

• I don't get the hype and the only way this signing is going to happen is if Pep leaves.
• I just don't rate that type of striker and I have watched for more than 5 minutes.
• He isn't that quick for starters.His technique isn't that special either.
• We just don't play that style of football that will play to his strengths and his agent will still be a major stumbling block.
• Fuck it. Lets sign Edinson Cavani. Much better player than Haaland.
• Haaland isn't anything like Lewandowski. Teams will work out how to defend against him and he will have barren spells. Mbappe is having similar problems right now.
• Haaland has achieved very little to be considered to be anything like as the van Persie signing.
• I don't think he is high on the list of Aguero's replacements.
• He would struggle to adapt to Pep's tactics so he isn't a guarantee. In a couple years time Delap could be knocking on the door.
• Haaland will need time too and although he is good but not that good. Delap will save us money without the Raiola headache.
• I'm not that impressed with Haaland. Would struggle with Pep as manager.
• We had already equally talented players in the academy already.
• Delap will match Haaland's achievements.
• Coaches like Moyes, Hodgson, Allardyce would still find a way of keeping Haaland very quiet.
• There are plenty flaws in Haaland's game would get exposed in our set up.
• Haaland hasn't come across many teams that have completely parked the bus for starters. There are a few teams in the Premier League who loves to do that.

I'm not trying to take the piss or anything but I think it suggests that you've not exactly got a keen eye for talent.

Relax, mate, Gvardiol is a top, top quality player. If he signs then you'll understand that within a handful of games for us.

Can't wait for the response.

 

[Stoned Rose]

I hate to do this but I couldn't resist. Here's your scout report on Erling Haaland:

• I don't get the hype and the only way this signing is going to happen is if Pep leaves.
• I just don't rate that type of striker and I have watched for more than 5 minutes.
• He isn't that quick for starters.His technique isn't that special either.
• We just don't play that style of football that will play to his strengths and his agent will still be a major stumbling block.
• Fuck it. Lets sign Edinson Cavani. Much better player than Haaland.
• Haaland isn't anything like Lewandowski. Teams will work out how to defend against him and he will have barren spells. Mbappe is having similar problems right now.
• Haaland has achieved very little to be considered to be anything like as the van Persie signing.
• I don't think he is high on the list of Aguero's replacements.
• He would struggle to adapt to Pep's tactics so he isn't a guarantee. In a couple years time Delap could be knocking on the door.
• Haaland will need time too and although he is good but not that good. Delap will save us money without the Raiola headache.
• I'm not that impressed with Haaland. Would struggle with Pep as manager.
• We had already equally talented players in the academy already.
• Delap will match Haaland's achievements.
• Coaches like Moyes, Hodgson, Allardyce would still find a way of keeping Haaland very quiet.
• There are plenty flaws in Haaland's game would get exposed in our set up.
• Haaland hasn't come across many teams that have completely parked the bus for starters. There are a few teams in the Premier League who loves to do that.

I'm not trying to take the piss or anything but I think it suggests that you've not exactly got a keen eye for talent.

Relax, mate, Gvardiol is a top, top quality player. If he signs then you'll understand that within a handful of games for us.

 

[FantasyIreland]

Can't wait for the response.

Football isn't for Ray,but he's also a WUM,ive told him several times.....yet he continues to deny it,before proceeding to confirm it.

 

[scarty10]

I hate to do this but I couldn't resist. Here's your scout report on Erling Haaland:

• I don't get the hype and the only way this signing is going to happen is if Pep leaves.
• I just don't rate that type of striker and I have watched for more than 5 minutes.
• He isn't that quick for starters.His technique isn't that special either.
• We just don't play that style of football that will play to his strengths and his agent will still be a major stumbling block.
• Fuck it. Lets sign Edinson Cavani. Much better player than Haaland.
• Haaland isn't anything like Lewandowski. Teams will work out how to defend against him and he will have barren spells. Mbappe is having similar problems right now.
• Haaland has achieved very little to be considered to be anything like as the van Persie signing.
• I don't think he is high on the list of Aguero's replacements.
• He would struggle to adapt to Pep's tactics so he isn't a guarantee. In a couple years time Delap could be knocking on the door.
• Haaland will need time too and although he is good but not that good. Delap will save us money without the Raiola headache.
• I'm not that impressed with Haaland. Would struggle with Pep as manager.
• We had already equally talented players in the academy already.
• Delap will match Haaland's achievements.
• Coaches like Moyes, Hodgson, Allardyce would still find a way of keeping Haaland very quiet.
• There are plenty flaws in Haaland's game would get exposed in our set up.
• Haaland hasn't come across many teams that have completely parked the bus for starters. There are a few teams in the Premier League who loves to do that.

I'm not trying to take the piss or anything but I think it suggests that you've not exactly got a keen eye for talent.

Relax, mate, Gvardiol is a top, top quality player. If he signs then you'll understand that within a handful of games for us.

Usually I pop into this thread desperately hoping for some concrete news on Gvardiol transfer progressing....but now I'll be popping back regularly desperate to dsee the response from RayCTID to this absolute beauty of a post.

Popcorn is at the ready....cos there is literally no coming back from that :)

 

[Inter Me Nan]

I hate to do this but I couldn't resist. Here's your scout report on Erling Haaland:

• I don't get the hype and the only way this signing is going to happen is if Pep leaves.
• I just don't rate that type of striker and I have watched for more than 5 minutes.
• He isn't that quick for starters.His technique isn't that special either.
• We just don't play that style of football that will play to his strengths and his agent will still be a major stumbling block.
• Fuck it. Lets sign Edinson Cavani. Much better player than Haaland.
• Haaland isn't anything like Lewandowski. Teams will work out how to defend against him and he will have barren spells. Mbappe is having similar problems right now.
• Haaland has achieved very little to be considered to be anything like as the van Persie signing.
• I don't think he is high on the list of Aguero's replacements.
• He would struggle to adapt to Pep's tactics so he isn't a guarantee. In a couple years time Delap could be knocking on the door.
• Haaland will need time too and although he is good but not that good. Delap will save us money without the Raiola headache.
• I'm not that impressed with Haaland. Would struggle with Pep as manager.
• We had already equally talented players in the academy already.
• Delap will match Haaland's achievements.
• Coaches like Moyes, Hodgson, Allardyce would still find a way of keeping Haaland very quiet.
• There are plenty flaws in Haaland's game would get exposed in our set up.
• Haaland hasn't come across many teams that have completely parked the bus for starters. There are a few teams in the Premier League who loves to do that.

I'm not trying to take the piss or anything but I think it suggests that you've not exactly got a keen eye for talent.

Relax, mate, Gvardiol is a top, top quality player. If he signs then you'll understand that within a handful of games for us.

 

[RayCTID]

I hate to do this but I couldn't resist. Here's your scout report on Erling Haaland:

• I don't get the hype and the only way this signing is going to happen is if Pep leaves.
• I just don't rate that type of striker and I have watched for more than 5 minutes.
• He isn't that quick for starters.His technique isn't that special either.
• We just don't play that style of football that will play to his strengths and his agent will still be a major stumbling block.
• Fuck it. Lets sign Edinson Cavani. Much better player than Haaland.
• Haaland isn't anything like Lewandowski. Teams will work out how to defend against him and he will have barren spells. Mbappe is having similar problems right now.
• Haaland has achieved very little to be considered to be anything like as the van Persie signing.
• I don't think he is high on the list of Aguero's replacements.
• He would struggle to adapt to Pep's tactics so he isn't a guarantee. In a couple years time Delap could be knocking on the door.
• Haaland will need time too and although he is good but not that good. Delap will save us money without the Raiola headache.
• I'm not that impressed with Haaland. Would struggle with Pep as manager.
• We had already equally talented players in the academy already.
• Delap will match Haaland's achievements.
• Coaches like Moyes, Hodgson, Allardyce would still find a way of keeping Haaland very quiet.
• There are plenty flaws in Haaland's game would get exposed in our set up.
• Haaland hasn't come across many teams that have completely parked the bus for starters. There are a few teams in the Premier League who loves to do that.

I'm not trying to take the piss or anything but I think it suggests that you've not exactly got a keen eye for talent.

Relax, mate, Gvardiol is a top, top quality player. If he signs then you'll understand that within a handful of games for us.

Nearly alll the the Haaland posts were an actual joke. I did rate the guy and I did geniunely see his talent and got why were after player in the first place and decided to try and balance things up a bit in bluemoon style .I never rated Cavani and that was acutally a joke. Hodgson passed on the opportunity at the time to really sign him for Palace and went for a proven player. I half expected to Delap to step up as he was a different style of striker to what we had at the time. We had to adapt to his strengths and we do mix things up more since he arrived. I just don't think Gvardiol is top quality in the games he had played against us. Haaland had done.

 

[RayCTID]

View attachment 87765

They were geniune joke posts.

 

[skillman]

I hate to do this but I couldn't resist. Here's your scout report on Erling Haaland:

• I don't get the hype and the only way this signing is going to happen is if Pep leaves.
• I just don't rate that type of striker and I have watched for more than 5 minutes.

• He isn't that quick for starters.His technique isn't that special either.​

• We just don't play that style of football that will play to his strengths and his agent will still be a major stumbling block.
• Fuck it. Lets sign Edinson Cavani. Much better player than Haaland.
• Haaland isn't anything like Lewandowski. Teams will work out how to defend against him and he will have barren spells. Mbappe is having similar problems right now.
• Haaland has achieved very little to be considered to be anything like as the van Persie signing.
• I don't think he is high on the list of Aguero's replacements.
• He would struggle to adapt to Pep's tactics so he isn't a guarantee. In a couple years time Delap could be knocking on the door.
• Haaland will need time too and although he is good but not that good. Delap will save us money without the Raiola headache.
• I'm not that impressed with Haaland. Would struggle with Pep as manager.
• We had already equally talented players in the academy already.
• Delap will match Haaland's achievements.
• Coaches like Moyes, Hodgson, Allardyce would still find a way of keeping Haaland very quiet.
• There are plenty flaws in Haaland's game would get exposed in our set up.
• Haaland hasn't come across many teams that have completely parked the bus for starters. There are a few teams in the Premier League who loves to do that.

I'm not trying to take the piss or anything but I think it suggests that you've not exactly got a keen eye for talent.

Relax, mate, Gvardiol is a top, top quality player. If he signs then you'll understand that within a handful of games for us.

Kinellfire

 

[Le Havre Oswald]

I hate to do this but I couldn't resist. Here's your scout report on Erling Haaland:

• I don't get the hype and the only way this signing is going to happen is if Pep leaves.
• I just don't rate that type of striker and I have watched for more than 5 minutes.
• He isn't that quick for starters.His technique isn't that special either.
• We just don't play that style of football that will play to his strengths and his agent will still be a major stumbling block.
• Fuck it. Lets sign Edinson Cavani. Much better player than Haaland.
• Haaland isn't anything like Lewandowski. Teams will work out how to defend against him and he will have barren spells. Mbappe is having similar problems right now.
• Haaland has achieved very little to be considered to be anything like as the van Persie signing.
• I don't think he is high on the list of Aguero's replacements.
• He would struggle to adapt to Pep's tactics so he isn't a guarantee. In a couple years time Delap could be knocking on the door.
• Haaland will need time too and although he is good but not that good. Delap will save us money without the Raiola headache.
• I'm not that impressed with Haaland. Would struggle with Pep as manager.
• We had already equally talented players in the academy already.
• Delap will match Haaland's achievements.
• Coaches like Moyes, Hodgson, Allardyce would still find a way of keeping Haaland very quiet.
• There are plenty flaws in Haaland's game would get exposed in our set up.
• Haaland hasn't come across many teams that have completely parked the bus for starters. There are a few teams in the Premier League who loves to do that.

I'm not trying to take the piss or anything but I think it suggests that you've not exactly got a keen eye for talent.

Relax, mate, Gvardiol is a top, top quality player. If he signs then you'll understand that within a handful of games for us.

If that was me I’d just leave bluemoon. Joke or not. Great investigation work haha

 

[TCM]

There were geniune joke posts.