Josko Gvardiol

[Coatigan]

just hoping Jack Gaughan doesn’t ruin it for us before 950

If it gets to 1000 pages, it is officially a saga, right?

1500, it's a circus.

 

[01cravend]

If it gets to 1000 pages, it is officially a saga, right?

1500, it's a circus.

Rice, Bellingham, Messi, Ronaldo, Cucurella and Koulibaly all 1000+ pagers

Haaland and Grealish only 2 we've got over the line in recent years

 

[leo_city]

If it gets to 1000 pages, it is officially a saga, right?

1500, it's a circus.

We’ll do well to make it 1500. Although it could just be a matter of time before someone goes on the Txiki rant.

 

[Centurions]

I hate to do this but I couldn't resist. Here's your scout report on Erling Haaland:

• I don't get the hype and the only way this signing is going to happen is if Pep leaves.
• I just don't rate that type of striker and I have watched for more than 5 minutes.
• He isn't that quick for starters.His technique isn't that special either.
• We just don't play that style of football that will play to his strengths and his agent will still be a major stumbling block.
• Fuck it. Lets sign Edinson Cavani. Much better player than Haaland.
• Haaland isn't anything like Lewandowski. Teams will work out how to defend against him and he will have barren spells. Mbappe is having similar problems right now.
• Haaland has achieved very little to be considered to be anything like as the van Persie signing.
• I don't think he is high on the list of Aguero's replacements.
• He would struggle to adapt to Pep's tactics so he isn't a guarantee. In a couple years time Delap could be knocking on the door.
• Haaland will need time too and although he is good but not that good. Delap will save us money without the Raiola headache.
• I'm not that impressed with Haaland. Would struggle with Pep as manager.
• We had already equally talented players in the academy already.
• Delap will match Haaland's achievements.
• Coaches like Moyes, Hodgson, Allardyce would still find a way of keeping Haaland very quiet.
• There are plenty flaws in Haaland's game would get exposed in our set up.
• Haaland hasn't come across many teams that have completely parked the bus for starters. There are a few teams in the Premier League who loves to do that.

I'm not trying to take the piss or anything but I think it suggests that you've not exactly got a keen eye for talent.

Relax, mate, Gvardiol is a top, top quality player. If he signs then you'll understand that within a handful of games for us.

I'd presumed that was from multiple posters initially, oh dear. I know it's with the benefit of hindsight but talk about doubling down. Again and again and again...

 

[MafeotulBlue]

I hate to do this but I couldn't resist. Here's your scout report on Erling Haaland:

• I don't get the hype and the only way this signing is going to happen is if Pep leaves.
• I just don't rate that type of striker and I have watched for more than 5 minutes.
• He isn't that quick for starters.His technique isn't that special either.
• We just don't play that style of football that will play to his strengths and his agent will still be a major stumbling block.
• Fuck it. Lets sign Edinson Cavani. Much better player than Haaland.
• Haaland isn't anything like Lewandowski. Teams will work out how to defend against him and he will have barren spells. Mbappe is having similar problems right now.
• Haaland has achieved very little to be considered to be anything like as the van Persie signing.
• I don't think he is high on the list of Aguero's replacements.
• He would struggle to adapt to Pep's tactics so he isn't a guarantee. In a couple years time Delap could be knocking on the door.
• Haaland will need time too and although he is good but not that good. Delap will save us money without the Raiola headache.
• I'm not that impressed with Haaland. Would struggle with Pep as manager.
• We had already equally talented players in the academy already.
• Delap will match Haaland's achievements.
• Coaches like Moyes, Hodgson, Allardyce would still find a way of keeping Haaland very quiet.
• There are plenty flaws in Haaland's game would get exposed in our set up.
• Haaland hasn't come across many teams that have completely parked the bus for starters. There are a few teams in the Premier League who loves to do that.

I'm not trying to take the piss or anything but I think it suggests that you've not exactly got a keen eye for talent.

Relax, mate, Gvardiol is a top, top quality player. If he signs then you'll understand that within a handful of games for us.

This is what you call, emotional damage.

 

[Coatigan]

We’ll do well to make it 1500. Although it could just be a matter of time before someone goes on the Txiki rant.

Will sail past 1500 before the next window even opens, if he doesn't sign this window.

It might even hit 1500 if someone in the media suggests Chelsea are moving in.

 

[samuelyeboah]

I hate to do this but I couldn't resist. Here's your scout report on Erling Haaland:

• I don't get the hype and the only way this signing is going to happen is if Pep leaves.
• I just don't rate that type of striker and I have watched for more than 5 minutes.
• He isn't that quick for starters.His technique isn't that special either.
• We just don't play that style of football that will play to his strengths and his agent will still be a major stumbling block.
• Fuck it. Lets sign Edinson Cavani. Much better player than Haaland.
• Haaland isn't anything like Lewandowski. Teams will work out how to defend against him and he will have barren spells. Mbappe is having similar problems right now.
• Haaland has achieved very little to be considered to be anything like as the van Persie signing.
• I don't think he is high on the list of Aguero's replacements.
• He would struggle to adapt to Pep's tactics so he isn't a guarantee. In a couple years time Delap could be knocking on the door.
• Haaland will need time too and although he is good but not that good. Delap will save us money without the Raiola headache.
• I'm not that impressed with Haaland. Would struggle with Pep as manager.
• We had already equally talented players in the academy already.
• Delap will match Haaland's achievements.
• Coaches like Moyes, Hodgson, Allardyce would still find a way of keeping Haaland very quiet.
• There are plenty flaws in Haaland's game would get exposed in our set up.
• Haaland hasn't come across many teams that have completely parked the bus for starters. There are a few teams in the Premier League who loves to do that.

I'm not trying to take the piss or anything but I think it suggests that you've not exactly got a keen eye for talent.

Relax, mate, Gvardiol is a top, top quality player. If he signs then you'll understand that within a handful of games for us.

Christ

 

[MafeotulBlue]

Someone get the Aloe Vera and Neosporin for Ray. That burn will need professional help.

 

[FatedBlue77]

I hate to do this but I couldn't resist. Here's your scout report on Erling Haaland:

• I don't get the hype and the only way this signing is going to happen is if Pep leaves.
• I just don't rate that type of striker and I have watched for more than 5 minutes.
• He isn't that quick for starters.His technique isn't that special either.
• We just don't play that style of football that will play to his strengths and his agent will still be a major stumbling block.
• Fuck it. Lets sign Edinson Cavani. Much better player than Haaland.
• Haaland isn't anything like Lewandowski. Teams will work out how to defend against him and he will have barren spells. Mbappe is having similar problems right now.
• Haaland has achieved very little to be considered to be anything like as the van Persie signing.
• I don't think he is high on the list of Aguero's replacements.
• He would struggle to adapt to Pep's tactics so he isn't a guarantee. In a couple years time Delap could be knocking on the door.
• Haaland will need time too and although he is good but not that good. Delap will save us money without the Raiola headache.
• I'm not that impressed with Haaland. Would struggle with Pep as manager.
• We had already equally talented players in the academy already.
• Delap will match Haaland's achievements.
• Coaches like Moyes, Hodgson, Allardyce would still find a way of keeping Haaland very quiet.
• There are plenty flaws in Haaland's game would get exposed in our set up.
• Haaland hasn't come across many teams that have completely parked the bus for starters. There are a few teams in the Premier League who loves to do that.

I'm not trying to take the piss or anything but I think it suggests that you've not exactly got a keen eye for talent.

Relax, mate, Gvardiol is a top, top quality player. If he signs then you'll understand that within a handful of games for us.

 

[GX Blue]

I hate to do this but I couldn't resist. Here's your scout report on Erling Haaland:

• I don't get the hype and the only way this signing is going to happen is if Pep leaves.
• I just don't rate that type of striker and I have watched for more than 5 minutes.
• He isn't that quick for starters.His technique isn't that special either.
• We just don't play that style of football that will play to his strengths and his agent will still be a major stumbling block.
• Fuck it. Lets sign Edinson Cavani. Much better player than Haaland.
• Haaland isn't anything like Lewandowski. Teams will work out how to defend against him and he will have barren spells. Mbappe is having similar problems right now.
• Haaland has achieved very little to be considered to be anything like as the van Persie signing.
• I don't think he is high on the list of Aguero's replacements.
• He would struggle to adapt to Pep's tactics so he isn't a guarantee. In a couple years time Delap could be knocking on the door.
• Haaland will need time too and although he is good but not that good. Delap will save us money without the Raiola headache.
• I'm not that impressed with Haaland. Would struggle with Pep as manager.
• We had already equally talented players in the academy already.
• Delap will match Haaland's achievements.
• Coaches like Moyes, Hodgson, Allardyce would still find a way of keeping Haaland very quiet.
• There are plenty flaws in Haaland's game would get exposed in our set up.
• Haaland hasn't come across many teams that have completely parked the bus for starters. There are a few teams in the Premier League who loves to do that.

I'm not trying to take the piss or anything but I think it suggests that you've not exactly got a keen eye for talent.

Relax, mate, Gvardiol is a top, top quality player. If he signs then you'll understand that within a handful of games for us.

Superb.

Wonderfully presented.