I hate to do this but I couldn't resist. Here's your scout report on Erling Haaland:
- I don't get the hype and the only way this signing is going to happen is if Pep leaves.
- I just don't rate that type of striker and I have watched for more than 5 minutes.
- He isn't that quick for starters.His technique isn't that special either.
- We just don't play that style of football that will play to his strengths and his agent will still be a major stumbling block.
- Fuck it. Lets sign Edinson Cavani. Much better player than Haaland.
- Haaland isn't anything like Lewandowski. Teams will work out how to defend against him and he will have barren spells. Mbappe is having similar problems right now.
- Haaland has achieved very little to be considered to be anything like as the van Persie signing.
- I don't think he is high on the list of Aguero's replacements.
- He would struggle to adapt to Pep's tactics so he isn't a guarantee. In a couple years time Delap could be knocking on the door.
- Haaland will need time too and although he is good but not that good. Delap will save us money without the Raiola headache.
- I'm not that impressed with Haaland. Would struggle with Pep as manager.
- We had already equally talented players in the academy already.
- Delap will match Haaland's achievements.
- Coaches like Moyes, Hodgson, Allardyce would still find a way of keeping Haaland very quiet.
- There are plenty flaws in Haaland's game would get exposed in our set up.
- Haaland hasn't come across many teams that have completely parked the bus for starters. There are a few teams in the Premier League who loves to do that.
I'm not trying to take the piss or anything but I think it suggests that you've not exactly got a keen eye for talent.
Relax, mate, Gvardiol is a top, top quality player. If he signs then you'll understand that within a handful of games for us.