Jamie TalksKrapp is another of those spice boys whose sporting achievements only served to give him celebrity status. He played for the dippers so that qualifies him for a lifelong career in the media: punditry, presenting, generally ensuring his well-honed features are regularly seen in HD on all our TV screens.
The man's like a marionette: a puppet, a Ken without a Barbie. Made entirely from plastic moulds supplied by Gerry Anderson and Nick Park. The return of Nathan Barley.
He's as superficial as those cretinous beings on Love Island or The Only Way Is Essex. Put him too close to a lightbulb and he'd end up looking like Simon Weston.