Looks or Personality?

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mcfc1894

Well-Known Member
Joined
17 May 2008
Messages
689
people may not remember, but I came on here about a year ago now, needing comforting from my break up etc. well I stupidly got back with said girl and we have now been together for 3 years, not including the 3 times we have spilt up for 2-3weeks or so. recently things have been awkward between us both, she's been on holiday 'on her own' and has been very unsociable towards me by not finding time to spend with me, but always seems to find time with her friends. I'm an easy going person and don't care about her going out with friends even if the majority are lads and doing what she wants to do. but sometimes I just feel that we should spend more quality time together alone, if you get what I mean? anyway, because of the way she has been with me, I've been going out and talking to other girls. I wouldn't cheat on my girlfriend, if I can call her that, as thats not in my nature, but I've been speaking to a girl recently and shes always in the same club every friday/Saturday night. now this girl in my eyes is not as good looking as my 'current' girlfriend, but I get on with her so much better. so what do I do? do I stay with the girl who's fit and I get on with every now and again, or try it with the girl not as good looking but has a better personality? so like the thread title is it looks or personality?
 
You need to look at it in this manner. Imagine yourself spending the rest of your life with that person. Now if you went in just because of looks, those looks will be gone in 10-15 years and you will be forced to spend your life with someone whose company/personality/outlook you dont really enjoy. If you went in with someone who had a decent personality, someone that you can get along with very well, that will last the rest of your life. Ideally, there should be a good combination of both, but if thats not the case, personality over looks every time.
 
if I look at it like that, I can't see myself being happy with the current girlfriend. in my eyes shes stunning but maybe I should just grow a pair and end it. she won't break up with me because she knows how easy she has it, I treat her like no one ever will. I bought her a £175 marc Jacobs purse for Christmas as well as many other presents like pandora and clothes etc over the years and also everytime we go out I pay. I just keep thinking that we could be happy together and that's what's keeping me with her. It's annoying cos I really don't know what to do. I love my girlfriend to bits but I'm fed up of being treated like something on the bottom of her shoe
 
You may end up spending the rest of your life with this person, having children, making huge commitments. I would like that person to be someone I got on really well with and could trust with anything. I couldn't live with just anybody, no matter how good looking they are, I just haven't the patience.

Sexual attraction would have to play a part in the beginning before deciding if you wanted to be with that person, I can't see anyone wanting to take things much further with somebody who they are not attracted to and chances are it wouldn't work in the long run.

I'm lucky in that I wouldn't want to be with anyone other than the person I'm with, she probably thinks I'm a bit of a **** though, but hey ho.
 
mcfc1894 said:
if I look at it like that, I can't see myself being happy with the current girlfriend. in my eyes shes stunning but maybe I should just grow a lair and end it. she won't break up with me because she knows how easy she has it, I treat her like no one ever will. I bought her a £175 marc Jacobs purse for Christmas as well as many other presents like pandora and clothes etc over the years and also everytime we go out I pay. I just keep thinking that we could be happy together and that's what's keeping me with her. It's annoying cos I really don't know what to do. I love my girlfriend to bits but I'm fed up of being treated like something on the bottom of her shoe
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Tbh man she sounds like a woman Dump and move on. it seems like shes using you. My opinion ofc.
 
mcfc1894 said:
if I look at it like that, I can't see myself being happy with the current girlfriend. in my eyes shes stunning but maybe I should just grow a lair and end it. she won't break up with me because she knows how easy she has it, I treat her like no one ever will. I bought her a £175 marc Jacobs purse for Christmas as well as many other presents like pandora and clothes etc over the years and also everytime we go out I pay. I just keep thinking that we could be happy together and that's what's keeping me with her. It's annoying cos I really don't know what to do. I love my girlfriend to bits but I'm fed up of being treated like something on the bottom of her shoe
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Talk to her about this. From her response it will be very clear if she is someone you can see yourself spending the rest of your life with. Your decision will be taken for you
 
Sorry to be blunt mate, but I pity anyone who would stay with someone just for the way they look.
When you say 'not as fit', what does that mean?!! Seems you're more bothered about how others would see whoever you're with rather than being with someone who genuinely makes you feel happy.

I think you know what you want to do. Life's short. Stop worrying about what others think and be happy.
 
TCIB said:
Get rid, move on man.
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Yup. She sounds like a blood sucking parasite man. If you're just looking for sex then looks are great, if you're actually looking to be happy then you're gonna need a personality there. If you marry for looks then, those will fade in 10-20 years time unless you're rich and pay for plastic surgery. Then she starts fucking the pool boy and everyone else behind your back and you're wondering again "why she's so distant."

A nice piece of eye candy is always nice on the arm from time to time but by and large it ends a shambles with your misery. If you're looking for something concrete and lasting you need to have a woman with a strong personality, not one that's flaky and shallow.

By all means though, if you're just looking for a hole then go for looks.
 
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