Lost my mum today.

crublue1 said:
Had a call to say she wasn't answering her phone.
I left work and went round, she had fallen and had passed away.
She had turned the lights and telly off and was on her way to bed.
She fell last week and I offered to stay with her for a few days but she said no.
I feel so guilty, I should have insisted. She was 89.
I'm fucking gutted. If I'd been there it might not have happened.
She was a lovely, kind woman, never judged anyone or anything.
She grew up with nothing, yet spent the latter years of her life working in a charity shop.
Born in alty, as was I, she was a red, and loved United as much as I love city. Her dad was blue, so i guessed she rebelled, as i did. She didn't mind at all that I chose city.
We watched the Derby together on Sunday, I don't begrudge her that win, and she never ever gloated.
We watched it hand in hand, I think she knew her time was near.
She was almost happy for city's successful recent years, she had seen enough red success to last a lifetime.
I'm so sad, when my dad went I didn't lose my dad, because he had dementia, I lost the guy that used to be my dad. Somehow that made it easier.
I've lost a wonderful human being that I'm so lucky to have had as a mum.
Sorry for the long type, I just needed to let it out.
RIP Sylvia
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Sorry for your loss. Don't be hard on yourself. Sounds a lot like how my nan passed away. She'd gone upstairs and fallen at the top of the stairs. My mum was in the house and heard her fall and she was gone by the time she got there. She was 92. For some reason that I won't get into they did a postmortem and she had had a massive heart attack. It wasn't the fall, it was just the exertion of gong up the stairs. My mum wasn't pleased they were going to do a postmortem but in the end it made her feel better that it was so quick.

We all have to go some way and making it to 90 in your own home and being relatively healthy to the end is a great innings. All the best.
 
crublue1 said:
Had a call to say she wasn't answering her phone.
I left work and went round, she had fallen and had passed away.
She had turned the lights and telly off and was on her way to bed.
She fell last week and I offered to stay with her for a few days but she said no.
I feel so guilty, I should have insisted. She was 89.
I'm fucking gutted. If I'd been there it might not have happened.
She was a lovely, kind woman, never judged anyone or anything.
She grew up with nothing, yet spent the latter years of her life working in a charity shop.
Born in alty, as was I, she was a red, and loved United as much as I love city. Her dad was blue, so i guessed she rebelled, as i did. She didn't mind at all that I chose city.
We watched the Derby together on Sunday, I don't begrudge her that win, and she never ever gloated.
We watched it hand in hand, I think she knew her time was near.
She was almost happy for city's successful recent years, she had seen enough red success to last a lifetime.
I'm so sad, when my dad went I didn't lose my dad, because he had dementia, I lost the guy that used to be my dad. Somehow that made it easier.
I've lost a wonderful human being that I'm so lucky to have had as a mum.
Sorry for the long type, I just needed to let it out.
RIP Sylvia
Click to expand...
Sorry. This is always tough no matter what age. Your mum sounded lovely, RIP
 
Sorry for your loss blue, mums & sons, there's something about that bond, lost my mum 20yrs ago this year and it was devastating, but now I just have good memories of her, I laugh about her funny ways now, you'll reach that point eventually, meanwhile just make sure you give her a fitting send off. RIP.
 
crublue1 said:
Had a call to say she wasn't answering her phone.
I left work and went round, she had fallen and had passed away.
She had turned the lights and telly off and was on her way to bed.
She fell last week and I offered to stay with her for a few days but she said no.
I feel so guilty, I should have insisted. She was 89.
I'm fucking gutted. If I'd been there it might not have happened.
She was a lovely, kind woman, never judged anyone or anything.
She grew up with nothing, yet spent the latter years of her life working in a charity shop.
Born in alty, as was I, she was a red, and loved United as much as I love city. Her dad was blue, so i guessed she rebelled, as i did. She didn't mind at all that I chose city.
We watched the Derby together on Sunday, I don't begrudge her that win, and she never ever gloated.
We watched it hand in hand, I think she knew her time was near.
She was almost happy for city's successful recent years, she had seen enough red success to last a lifetime.
I'm so sad, when my dad went I didn't lose my dad, because he had dementia, I lost the guy that used to be my dad. Somehow that made it easier.
I've lost a wonderful human being that I'm so lucky to have had as a mum.
Sorry for the long type, I just needed to let it out.
RIP Sylvia
Click to expand...
made me cry reading that spoken from the heart rest in peace sylvia
 
crublue1 said:
Thank you mate.
I'm absolutely devastated if I'm honest. I knew this day would come but I didn't think it would affect me like this.
Click to expand...

Doesn't matter how old they are or whether you know it's coming, if you've been blessed to have parents who loved you and vice versa then it's so hard and from your moving tribute it's clear how much you meant to each other. It's different for everybody but there comes a time when the happiness of the memories outweigh the grief of the loss. Keeping a good thought for you and your loved ones. RIP.
 
crublue1 said:
Thank you mate.
I'm absolutely devastated if I'm honest. I knew this day would come but I didn't think it would affect me like this.
Click to expand...
We never know how something like this will affect us, but you obviously had a very close relationship with your mum, and hopefully many happy memories to hold onto.
 
So sorry for your loss. I lost my dad to alzheimers this year. He took me to Maine Road and made me a blue in the 60s. So the footy was our conversation, City our connection. I know about grief. I lost my wife to to cancer (at 49) and that devastated me. Took me over a year to not have it constantly on my mind . She died a week before Christmas, I went to a home game against Everton a few days after. Mad, I was trying to keep myself from crying while watching. You don't know what others, your friends, and acquaintances are going through. Be kind at this time of year, not everyone is full of the joys of the season and it can be hard for those that aren't. All the best blue. It will get better for you.
 
crublue1 said:
Had a call to say she wasn't answering her phone.
I left work and went round, she had fallen and had passed away.
She had turned the lights and telly off and was on her way to bed.
She fell last week and I offered to stay with her for a few days but she said no.
I feel so guilty, I should have insisted. She was 89.
I'm fucking gutted. If I'd been there it might not have happened.
She was a lovely, kind woman, never judged anyone or anything.
She grew up with nothing, yet spent the latter years of her life working in a charity shop.
Born in alty, as was I, she was a red, and loved United as much as I love city. Her dad was blue, so i guessed she rebelled, as i did. She didn't mind at all that I chose city.
We watched the Derby together on Sunday, I don't begrudge her that win, and she never ever gloated.
We watched it hand in hand, I think she knew her time was near.
She was almost happy for city's successful recent years, she had seen enough red success to last a lifetime.
I'm so sad, when my dad went I didn't lose my dad, because he had dementia, I lost the guy that used to be my dad. Somehow that made it easier.
I've lost a wonderful human being that I'm so lucky to have had as a mum.
Sorry for the long type, I just needed to let it out.
RIP Sylvia
Click to expand...
Truly sorry for your loss, mate.
 
crublue1 said:
Had a call to say she wasn't answering her phone.
I left work and went round, she had fallen and had passed away.
She had turned the lights and telly off and was on her way to bed.
She fell last week and I offered to stay with her for a few days but she said no.
I feel so guilty, I should have insisted. She was 89.
I'm fucking gutted. If I'd been there it might not have happened.
She was a lovely, kind woman, never judged anyone or anything.
She grew up with nothing, yet spent the latter years of her life working in a charity shop.
Born in alty, as was I, she was a red, and loved United as much as I love city. Her dad was blue, so i guessed she rebelled, as i did. She didn't mind at all that I chose city.
We watched the Derby together on Sunday, I don't begrudge her that win, and she never ever gloated.
We watched it hand in hand, I think she knew her time was near.
She was almost happy for city's successful recent years, she had seen enough red success to last a lifetime.
I'm so sad, when my dad went I didn't lose my dad, because he had dementia, I lost the guy that used to be my dad. Somehow that made it easier.
I've lost a wonderful human being that I'm so lucky to have had as a mum.
Sorry for the long type, I just needed to let it out.
RIP Sylvia
Click to expand...
Very sorry for your loss.
 
crublue1 said:
Had a call to say she wasn't answering her phone.
I left work and went round, she had fallen and had passed away.
She had turned the lights and telly off and was on her way to bed.
She fell last week and I offered to stay with her for a few days but she said no.
I feel so guilty, I should have insisted. She was 89.
I'm fucking gutted. If I'd been there it might not have happened.
She was a lovely, kind woman, never judged anyone or anything.
She grew up with nothing, yet spent the latter years of her life working in a charity shop.
Born in alty, as was I, she was a red, and loved United as much as I love city. Her dad was blue, so i guessed she rebelled, as i did. She didn't mind at all that I chose city.
We watched the Derby together on Sunday, I don't begrudge her that win, and she never ever gloated.
We watched it hand in hand, I think she knew her time was near.
She was almost happy for city's successful recent years, she had seen enough red success to last a lifetime.
I'm so sad, when my dad went I didn't lose my dad, because he had dementia, I lost the guy that used to be my dad. Somehow that made it easier.
I've lost a wonderful human being that I'm so lucky to have had as a mum.
Sorry for the long type, I just needed to let it out.
RIP Sylvia
Click to expand...

That's sad to hear. My condolences to you and your family.

My mum passed on 15 September this year, a day before my birthday. She was only 71. Born in Ardwick with nine siblings in a two-up, two down, lived in poverty for several years and was serially abused by her father. Suffered a cranial aneurysm at 51, diagnosed with COPD at the age of 56. It did not stop her spending her life helping others. For example, a friend of one of my sisters was 16 at the time, living with a mother who had mental health issues and an alcohol addiction. No father was on the scene (not the kind of thing you expect in Robin Hoods Bay). Mum provided shelter, food and clothing for over two years and supported her through college and university.

I miss her everyday. Not just because she was my mum but because she was an incredible person for many reasons. My hero and inspiration. I am so happy I told her this a week or so before she passed.

It seems you feel genuine pride in your mum so I appreciate how you are feeling. It's something for which she should be remembered so fondly.

The fact that you feel so lucky to have met your mum says a lot about her. Something you should regularly remind yourself of and treasure.

Guilt, whether rational or not, is a common feeling among those in our position. It is, in part, a reflection of our love for our mums. We could never do enough for them. We will always feel indebted to them.

I wish I could offer some good advice. It would likely not be useful though as I am not coping particularly well with my own situation.

All the best.
 
Remember a life well lived cruBlue1

I lost my dad December 2023 first few days were horrendous , non stop weeping, but it got easier. In the end i just came to see it as the closing of a perfect circle.
 
crublue1 said:
Had a call to say she wasn't answering her phone.
I left work and went round, she had fallen and had passed away.
She had turned the lights and telly off and was on her way to bed.
She fell last week and I offered to stay with her for a few days but she said no.
I feel so guilty, I should have insisted. She was 89.
I'm fucking gutted. If I'd been there it might not have happened.
She was a lovely, kind woman, never judged anyone or anything.
She grew up with nothing, yet spent the latter years of her life working in a charity shop.
Born in alty, as was I, she was a red, and loved United as much as I love city. Her dad was blue, so i guessed she rebelled, as i did. She didn't mind at all that I chose city.
We watched the Derby together on Sunday, I don't begrudge her that win, and she never ever gloated.
We watched it hand in hand, I think she knew her time was near.
She was almost happy for city's successful recent years, she had seen enough red success to last a lifetime.
I'm so sad, when my dad went I didn't lose my dad, because he had dementia, I lost the guy that used to be my dad. Somehow that made it easier.
I've lost a wonderful human being that I'm so lucky to have had as a mum.
Sorry for the long type, I just needed to let it out.
RIP Sylvia
Click to expand...
Beautiful words really sorry for your loss take care xx
 
Very sorry to hear mate.
I lost my Dad a year ago yesterday, Its still a strange feeling that his not around anymore and one that will stick with me forever i suspect - but time really is a healer and days get alot easier.
Cherish the good times and the memories.
Up the Blues.
 
So sorry to hear of your sad loss mate. We lost our Mum about 16 months ago (she was 96) and we were half expecting it due to her dementia.
However when its a sudden loss that makes it harder to understand IMO.
Stay strong and remember all the good times but please don`t keep thinking "what if ..." as thats probably what your Mum would not want to hear.
RIP Sylvia and condolences to you, your family and all her friends.
 
So sorry for the loss of your mum, I hope happy memories can replace your sadness in time mate.
 
Really sorry for your loss mate and RIP Sylvia who sounded like a wonderful mum and person, try not to blame yourself it benefits no one.

I lost my mum nearly 30 years ago I’d been working in the States and was wildly diverted due to a storm on the east coast finally managed to get home a day late and a few dollars short anyhow first thing was round to my mums an give her a gift which I always did when I’d been working away, she seemed in good fettle so I went into Mancs and booked a needed holiday got back to and she’d had a massive heart attack and passed away.

Now it’s easy to say had I stayed about for an hour or two instead of scooting off things would have been different but I am just glad I got home to see her in time.

Keep your chin up blue and remember your mum as the diamond she undoubtedly was.
 
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