Lost my mum today.

crublue1 said:
Had a call to say she wasn't answering her phone.
I left work and went round, she had fallen and had passed away.
She had turned the lights and telly off and was on her way to bed.
She fell last week and I offered to stay with her for a few days but she said no.
I feel so guilty, I should have insisted. She was 89.
I'm fucking gutted. If I'd been there it might not have happened.
She was a lovely, kind woman, never judged anyone or anything.
She grew up with nothing, yet spent the latter years of her life working in a charity shop.
Born in alty, as was I, she was a red, and loved United as much as I love city. Her dad was blue, so i guessed she rebelled, as i did. She didn't mind at all that I chose city.
We watched the Derby together on Sunday, I don't begrudge her that win, and she never ever gloated.
We watched it hand in hand, I think she knew her time was near.
She was almost happy for city's successful recent years, she had seen enough red success to last a lifetime.
I'm so sad, when my dad went I didn't lose my dad, because he had dementia, I lost the guy that used to be my dad. Somehow that made it easier.
I've lost a wonderful human being that I'm so lucky to have had as a mum.
Sorry for the long type, I just needed to let it out.
RIP Sylvia
Click to expand...
Very sorry for your loss.
 
crublue1 said:
Had a call to say she wasn't answering her phone.
I left work and went round, she had fallen and had passed away.
She had turned the lights and telly off and was on her way to bed.
She fell last week and I offered to stay with her for a few days but she said no.
I feel so guilty, I should have insisted. She was 89.
I'm fucking gutted. If I'd been there it might not have happened.
She was a lovely, kind woman, never judged anyone or anything.
She grew up with nothing, yet spent the latter years of her life working in a charity shop.
Born in alty, as was I, she was a red, and loved United as much as I love city. Her dad was blue, so i guessed she rebelled, as i did. She didn't mind at all that I chose city.
We watched the Derby together on Sunday, I don't begrudge her that win, and she never ever gloated.
We watched it hand in hand, I think she knew her time was near.
She was almost happy for city's successful recent years, she had seen enough red success to last a lifetime.
I'm so sad, when my dad went I didn't lose my dad, because he had dementia, I lost the guy that used to be my dad. Somehow that made it easier.
I've lost a wonderful human being that I'm so lucky to have had as a mum.
Sorry for the long type, I just needed to let it out.
RIP Sylvia
Click to expand...

That's sad to hear. My condolences to you and your family.

My mum passed on 15 September this year, a day before my birthday. She was only 71. Born in Ardwick with nine siblings in a two-up, two down, lived in poverty for several years and was serially abused by her father. Suffered a cranial aneurysm at 51, diagnosed with COPD at the age of 56. It did not stop her spending her life helping others. For example, a friend of one of my sisters was 16 at the time, living with a mother who had mental health issues and an alcohol addiction. No father was on the scene (not the kind of thing you expect in Robin Hoods Bay). Mum provided shelter, food and clothing for over two years and supported her through college and university.

I miss her everyday. Not just because she was my mum but because she was an incredible person for many reasons. My hero and inspiration. I am so happy I told her this a week or so before she passed.

It seems you feel genuine pride in your mum so I appreciate how you are feeling. It's something for which she should be remembered so fondly.

The fact that you feel so lucky to have met your mum says a lot about her. Something you should regularly remind yourself of and treasure.

Guilt, whether rational or not, is a common feeling among those in our position. It is, in part, a reflection of our love for our mums. We could never do enough for them. We will always feel indebted to them.

I wish I could offer some good advice. It would likely not be useful though as I am not coping particularly well with my own situation.

All the best.
 
Remember a life well lived cruBlue1

I lost my dad December 2023 first few days were horrendous , non stop weeping, but it got easier. In the end i just came to see it as the closing of a perfect circle.
 
crublue1 said:
Had a call to say she wasn't answering her phone.
I left work and went round, she had fallen and had passed away.
She had turned the lights and telly off and was on her way to bed.
She fell last week and I offered to stay with her for a few days but she said no.
I feel so guilty, I should have insisted. She was 89.
I'm fucking gutted. If I'd been there it might not have happened.
She was a lovely, kind woman, never judged anyone or anything.
She grew up with nothing, yet spent the latter years of her life working in a charity shop.
Born in alty, as was I, she was a red, and loved United as much as I love city. Her dad was blue, so i guessed she rebelled, as i did. She didn't mind at all that I chose city.
We watched the Derby together on Sunday, I don't begrudge her that win, and she never ever gloated.
We watched it hand in hand, I think she knew her time was near.
She was almost happy for city's successful recent years, she had seen enough red success to last a lifetime.
I'm so sad, when my dad went I didn't lose my dad, because he had dementia, I lost the guy that used to be my dad. Somehow that made it easier.
I've lost a wonderful human being that I'm so lucky to have had as a mum.
Sorry for the long type, I just needed to let it out.
RIP Sylvia
Click to expand...
Beautiful words really sorry for your loss take care xx
 
Very sorry to hear mate.
I lost my Dad a year ago yesterday, Its still a strange feeling that his not around anymore and one that will stick with me forever i suspect - but time really is a healer and days get alot easier.
Cherish the good times and the memories.
Up the Blues.
 
So sorry to hear of your sad loss mate. We lost our Mum about 16 months ago (she was 96) and we were half expecting it due to her dementia.
However when its a sudden loss that makes it harder to understand IMO.
Stay strong and remember all the good times but please don`t keep thinking "what if ..." as thats probably what your Mum would not want to hear.
RIP Sylvia and condolences to you, your family and all her friends.
 
So sorry for the loss of your mum, I hope happy memories can replace your sadness in time mate.
 
Really sorry for your loss mate and RIP Sylvia who sounded like a wonderful mum and person, try not to blame yourself it benefits no one.

I lost my mum nearly 30 years ago I’d been working in the States and was wildly diverted due to a storm on the east coast finally managed to get home a day late and a few dollars short anyhow first thing was round to my mums an give her a gift which I always did when I’d been working away, she seemed in good fettle so I went into Mancs and booked a needed holiday got back to and she’d had a massive heart attack and passed away.

Now it’s easy to say had I stayed about for an hour or two instead of scooting off things would have been different but I am just glad I got home to see her in time.

Keep your chin up blue and remember your mum as the diamond she undoubtedly was.
 
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