Make your own Liverpool Echo headline

[Always Ali]

Why, made up Jesus, allowing himself to be nailed to a cross 2022 years ago, should be seen as a blessing for Liverpool.

 

[KS55]

Manchester City 6. Liverpool 0

City and Liverpool share 6 goals in Etihad thriller.

 

[Always Ali]

God refuses to lay blame for stolen apple on Liverpool residents, Adam and Eve. Police wait to interview snake.

Raheem Sterling worried...

 

[Deleted member 77198]

Spitting on kids is a mark of respect and shows Liverpool is a city of great morals

 

[urban genie]

Pep spotted buying nails at homebargains while Klopp shops at B&Q shows gulf in both teams class

 

[urban genie]

These are genuine Liverpool Echo headlines from today:





I reckon they need a bit of help. Any suggestions for headlines for them?

The standard formula seems to be "Why [something completely unrelated] will be good for Liverpool"

Think some are forgetting this bit ;-)

 

[madloaf]

Why spending £87m on a striker days after City spend £51m on a striker proves Liverpool won't spend like 'oil rich' City.

 

[Deleted member 77198]

Hmm... Liverpool.com from a couple of days ago...

"Liverpool are the real winners from Raheem Sterling transfer as Man City and Chelsea have erred"​

​

Fucking hell, this is literally a paragraph from that article:

“Hopeful searches for ‘Raheem Sterling sell-on clause’ no doubt increased in Liverpool when news broke that the former Red had completed a move from Manchester City to Chelsea. Unfortunately, no such agreement exists, and none of the £47.5m will be making its way to Anfield. Even so, FSG may end up being the big winners from the move.”

 

[bluetonium]

Why finishing second means Liverpool are the real Premier League winners.

Ten games, no goals, but Nunez still a better investment that Haaland.

Guns, laundering and thievery. Standard Chartered prove perfect partner following $1.1bn fine.

Liverpool based entrepreneurs praised for start-up that allowed more ordinary fans to attend the CL final.

FA to award Liverpool +10 point asthma handicap per player, league won in August.

Ultimate Joker: Klopp's sideline strangulation of ball boy shows he's the world's best manager.

Salah 's no Sinner: Why diving is good for football.

 

[stevemacca]

'Exclusive - Conclusive proof that petrol for Toxteth Molotov cocktails was obtained from garage owned by Chelsea supporter'