Mind blowing farts

[Cellarite]

When I was 12 I was havig some sort of stomach ailment. Must've been something I ate. Suddenly my stomach was cramping and I was having cold sweats. I could feel pressure building in my stomach. Being stuck in a classroom my fluctuations had to be a clandestine activity.

So I went to the front of the class, it was a group activity so we could move around. So I let out a little gas, all the while controlling my sphincter as to make no sound. I dropped the bomb then moved to the back of the class. 30s later moans and screaming started. A girl even started crying. It was rancid and acidic. My underwear frayed instantly. They blamed a girl called Roxanne Barber. I did too ( Shame)

Phew I got away with it.

5 minutes later I could feel my discomfort and pressure building up again. I tried yo repeat my sneaky move but my execution" failed me. A high pitched squik was heard and the gig was up.

My teacher made go infront of the class and apologize for being a "gas ball". Fucken embarrassment of note!

One of the bluemoon posts of the year. It'll certainly be among the nominees on Awards Night!

 

[Cellarite]

I have to report back after my effort on Saturday.

I was at a garden party with between 20 and 30 people. Went to get a beer out of the fridge and there was about 10-12 stood on the paved area just outside the back door. As I passed through, I dropped a dust cropper but immediately after the crime, someone spoke to me so I had to stop at the scene rather than the "hit and run" I had planned.

I tried to cut short the conversation and scarper, but as I went to make my hasty exit - a woman shrieked at me "Kev - was that you?" I didn't lie - I merely said "If that was mine, I'd be proud of it" and walked away.

As I sat back down at the seating area, I glanced back at the carnage. About 10 people all pointing the finger at each other and gagging.

 

[Nevizade]

Did a protest fart when I was about 6 or 7 that lives long in the memory. My mum dragged me to a nearby craft centre on a Saturday afternoon against my will. They had a china shop there that was deathly quiet, like library quiet and I sensed my opportunity. Bent down and unleashed an absolute ripper, far beyond what someone of my tender years should have been capable of. Mum was rather embarrassed and dragged me out of the shop, went straight home.

Mission accomplished.

 

[Cellarite]

Did a protest fart when I was about 6 or 7 that lives long in the memory. My mum dragged me to a nearby craft centre on a Saturday afternoon against my will. They had a china shop there that was deathly quiet, like library quiet and I sensed my opportunity. Bent down and unleashed an absolute ripper, far beyond what someone of my tender years should have been capable of. Mum was rather embarrassed and dragged me out of the shop, went straight home.

Mission accomplished.

I hope that no fine china was rattled off the shelves in the ripple effect.