So sorry. :(
Great photo, thanks for sharing. Could have been anyone here's dad.
Lost my mum and dad now - mum this time last year, and not having kept photos is a real loss. Have to say they've never been closer in my mind as an adult tho, and eventually, losing them cleared up what I would want to take away from who they were as parents to me. It wasn't always perfect but taken as a whole they were fucking awesome at it.
I cry most days, but I know I'm going to be better off than I was before.
It will be hard for a long time Tiny, especially with everything else you've had to cope with, but it doesn't stay the same forever. It's like stubble burning at the end of the year, in preparation for the new growth. Hopefully you will eventually also get some sort of happiness and peace or security to take away from it all, just as I have.
Living through such tough times meant everything I've ever been through, all my memories, came back to the surface. And I couldn't afford to be mean to myself or focus on the minor problems. The things I'd done wrong, or wish had been different. Couldn't afford to hold grudges. I had to be good to myself - and in the end, no-one taught me better what that would mean, than them. I had to love myself, and that's what they'd shown me, what love was and how to give it.
It's been a year, and I was crying only yesterday. But I am seeing something much better now. Better than before. Clearer, more honest. Your experience will be your own, but I'm just telling you, it's worth it eventually. Life will spring up again inside of you, and it can be that part of you has lain dormant for some time. And at our age, that's a bit of a godsend, and it will eventually leave you that much wiser and calmer.